Encouragement in the spiritual life

4 Great Reasons to be Grateful This Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is just around the corner, and it’s a day many people ponder reasons to be grateful. But how do you give thanks when life hurts?

Moreover, Philippians 4:4 tells us to “Rejoice in the Lord always.” It’s one thing to rejoice in the things we’re glad the Lord has done. But how do we take rejoicing to the next level—rejoicing in the midst of suffering?

This is important for several reasons.

  1. Philippians 4:4 tells us to rejoice always.
  2. Being grateful stops the grumbling and complaining that the Bible warns us against (Philippians 2:14).
  3. The very act of rejoicing plants joy in us.
  4. Being grateful reminds us of God’s past good care and that brings peace over knowing his good care will continue.

For example, in January, my husband Clay was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. We immediately began praying Philippians 4:4-7 together daily—sometimes twice a day.

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:4–7

We’d recite “Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice.” Then we’d take turns rejoicing in the Lord before continuing to recite and pray the rest of the passage. Being grateful before presenting our requests calmed our hearts. While we no longer pray this passage together daily, we each continue to pray it when disappointment derails our peace.

But what can we rejoice in when confronting dreaded news?

Here are four reasons to be grateful no matter what season of life you’re experiencing.

1) Be Grateful for Answered Prayers

Glorify the Lord with me;
        let us exalt his name together.
I sought the Lord, and he answered me;
        he delivered me from all my fears.

Psalm 34:3-4

The book of Psalms has many thanksgiving songs that praise God for answered prayers, giving us examples to follow. Additionally, Jesus showed that he expects God’s people to praise God for answered prayers (Luke 17:17-18). Indeed, we can rejoice spontaneously as we see prayers answered. We can also rejoice deliberately by writing down our requests so we can later review them to mark those that God has answered and give thanks.

Indeed, just this morning I turned to where I’d written my prayer request, “Let insurance authorize liver radiation,” and wrote in the column next to it, “Yes! We got the approval on 10/31.”

2) Be Grateful for God’s Daily Provision

Sing to the Lord with grateful praise;
        make music to our God on the harp.
He covers the sky with clouds;
        he supplies the earth with rain
        and makes grass grow on the hills.
He provides food for the cattle
        and for the young ravens when they call.

Psalm 147:7-9

We can rejoice in every need that God meets: paychecks, gifts, meals, clothing, housing, and healing. We can rejoice in every delight: family, friends, bird songs, sunsets, flowers, and rain. We can rejoice that God gives us everything we have, including our strength, intelligence, and knowledge. We can start a habit of rejoicing in the Lord for every blessing the moment it arrives.

When the weather permits, I walk after lunch and pray. I rejoice in the weather that permits walking, in the blue flowers tumbling from a neighbor’s tree, and in the Anna’s hummingbirds flitting among its branches.

3) Be Grateful for Faith Purifiers

In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.

1 Peter 1:6-7

Sometimes God answers our prayers “No.” Sometimes we go through heartbreaking loss. But even in those times, we can rejoice because we know God is good and he will work good out of our current difficulties (Romans 8:28). When we face trials, we can rejoice that they prove our faith genuine, they purify our faith and motives, and they will bring us praise, glory, and honor when we go before Jesus at the end of times.

When we face difficulty, we can rejoice that God is building our character. When embarrassed, we can thank God for developing in us humility. In weakness, we can rejoice that God will either strengthen us or be our strength. Character lasts forever; difficulties do not.

Discovering Joy in Philippians

4) Be Grateful for God’s Eternal Promises

Praise the Lord, my soul;
        all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
Praise the Lord, my soul,
        and forget not all his benefits—
who forgives all your sins
        and heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit
        and crowns you with love and compassion,
who satisfies your desires with good things
        so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.

Psalm 103:1-5

This psalm reminds us, “Forget not all his benefits.” Forgetting God’s benefits makes us impatient, unfruitful, faithless, and fearful. It discourages. And forgetting makes us grumble and argue, like the Israelites in the desert.

Instead, we can remember and rejoice in God’s benefits, including his eternal promises. We can rejoice in his promise to forgive (1 John 1:9). When we recover from illness, we can give thanks for health and for our future imperishable body (1 Corinthians 15:42). Redemption is something for which we can always be grateful: he’s adopted us as his own and he promises eternal life. We can rejoice that he crowns us with love and compassion, and that he satisfies our desires with good things. We can give thanks that he will reward us for our faithful service.

In all circumstances, we can rejoice that one day God will resurrect our bodies and take us to a new heaven and earth (Revelation 21:1). We will reign with him in his kingdom. And there will be no more mourning, crying, or pain (21:4). This life of hardship ends, but the next life of glory is eternal.

Next Step

Get started today by giving thanks for something in each of these categories. Download this handy prayer guide to remind you of four great reasons to be grateful: Reasons to Be Grateful Prayer Guide.

This article was adapted from Discovering Joy in Philippians. This is an affiliate link for which I receive a commission at no cost to you.

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Create a Truth Journal to Find Hope in Crisis

“This is almost certainly metastasized cancer,” our GP told my husband Clay. “We’re not talking cure here. We’re talking quality of life and length of life.” The words sliced like a knife through my chest.

A week later, an oncologist confirmed stage 4 cancer.

We responded the way we’ve learned through the years: first, by praying, giving thanks out loud to God, and asking God for help; and second, by each creating a Truth Journal.

What a Truth Journal Is

What we call a Truth Journal consists of four things: truths, remembrances, Scriptures, and prayers. Clay keeps his in a Word document and has a separate page for each. He changes the font color of anything related to eternity to purple, the color of royalty. Whenever he updates it, he prints a new copy.

I have a tab in the back of my daily planner labeled “TRUTHS.” This section has pages with these titles:

  • TRUTHS
  • REMEMBRANCES
  • SCRIPTURE
  • PRAYERS

The titles are in green ink because in my Bible, I underline God’s blessings in green. I placed a gold flower sticker next to the titles because gold reminds me that Jesus is King and sovereign, and flowers remind me of Jesus’s words, “unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit” (John 12:24).

When we wake up sad or hear something that shakes us, we get out our truth journals and read through them. Sometimes item 3 will be just what we need. Other times it’s item 12. It’s important to regularly add to the journal and to keep it handy.

Previously I wrote about using a Truth Journal to combat doubts (“Does God love me?”) and false beliefs (“God let _____ happen so he must not care about me”). I’ll provide a link to that at the end of this post. Here, I’ll explain how to use a Truth Journal to find hope in time of crisis, such as a health crisis or loss of a loved one.

Let’s begin by looking at the four parts of a Truth Journal.

Truth Journal Section 1: Truths

These are personalized statements based on Scripture. When I previously wrote about Truth Journals, I suggested co-mingling truth statements and Scriptures. But Clay’s Scripture list was long and he ended up adding page breaks before and after it. After I made a mistake copying a longer passage, I decided to redo my Truths page and attach his list onto a separate Scripture page.

Truths page in Truth Journal
Truths page in Truth Journal

In my Bible I underline what we should do in blue, so I list truth statements in blue to remind me I must act on these truths.

Here’s a sample of what’s in our lists.

Clay’s List

  • The Lord is all-powerful, and He loves us.
  • Unless we die suddenly, everyone is going to have to go through this (“but such as is common to man,” 1 Corinthians 10:13).
  • We know that the Lord intends for us to suffer and that He expects us to handle it well.
  • Hardship is necessary for our spiritual growth and is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory.
  • The Lord is helping us not love this present world.
  • We don’t know the future—I could be healed—maybe forever—who knows what drugs will come up?
  • The Lord has brought us medical professionals to help us.
  • The Lord will take care of both of us no matter what.
  • The Lord will provide for Jean E., no matter what.
  • He is disciplining us not to look to the wind but to look at Jesus.
  • This is an opportunity for us to glorify the Lord.
  • No matter what happens, we will enjoy each other for eternity.

Jean’s List

Most of Clay’s are also in mine. Here are a few extras.

  • Everyone has to face suffering, death, and dying. Jesus shows us how to face it.
  • God has always worked good from the hard things that have happened. He won’t stop now.
  • The Lord worked great good out of Clay’s first bout with bone cancer.
  • We know people who have survived metastasized cancer for years.

As we realize more truths, we add to our lists.

Truth Journal Section 2: Remembrances

In my February newsletter, I wrote about how last summer, I was praying while walking when I saw a strange sight: a crow with white feathers in his wings. I snapped a few photos of him hopping among pine branches and headed home to get Clay. The pics were too fuzzy to see the white feathers, and the bird was gone by the time we got down to where I’d seen it. Clay teased that I must be making it up. (He didn’t mean it.)

With Wingtip, God answered prayer better than I asked

The next day as I headed out for my walk, I asked God to show me the crow again so I could call Clay and have him join me. But I didn’t see him during the one-mile walk. I came in through the back door and was telling Clay how I’d prayed to see the crow so he could see it, when I glanced out the window. There the bird was, perched on our fence! He stayed long enough for us to get good photos, then flew into the grapevine, giving us a chance to record him flying. When he flies, his white wingtips sparkle. I named him Wingtip.

What an amazing answer that was better than what I asked for! Instead of me finding Wingtip and calling Clay to quickly come see, God brought Wingtip to Clay.

Scripture tells us it’s essential to remember answered prayers like this.

So I have a section called REMEMBRANCES in which I’ve written these two verses:

I remember the days of old; I meditate on all that you have done; I ponder the work of your hands.

Psalm 143:5

My mouth will tell of your righteous acts, of your deeds of salvation all the day, for their number is past my knowledge.

Psalm 71:15

I have a two-column list of blessings God’s given us and prayers he’s answered in providential ways. I listed as many wonderful things God has done for us as I can remember as well as the ways God brought good out of past sufferings. That raises my confidence that God will work similarly in this circumstance. While I list just a word or phrase that reminds me of what God has done, Clay writes mostly sentences and uses one column. He entitles his Remembrances section “Remember how God has done amazing things for us—Thank You, Father!”

For both of us, “Wingtip” resides near the top of our remembrances. It assures us that even though God has said no to some of our prayers about Clay recently, he has good reason for it. He will give an answer that I expect to be better than what I asked for.

Truth Journal Section 3: Scripture

Both of us started writing beneficial Scriptures when we were young Christians in high school. This habit has greatly helped our spiritual growth. Prior to this week, I mingled verses with truth statements. But as I mentioned, I messed up a verse I was copying and decided to print Clay’s list and attach it to a separate page in my journal with washi tape (tape that can be lifted and reapplied). In an upcoming blog, I plan to list these comforting verses.

Our Scripture lists go on for pages. Here are a few favorites for finding hope in crises.

Favorite Verses for Truth Journals

I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.

John 16:33

Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

Romans 5:3–5

So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.

2 Corinthians 4:16–18

The one who conquers, I will grant him to sit with me on my throne, as I also conquered and sat down with my Father on his throne. He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches.

Revelation 3:21-22

A Note on Conquering

Clay emphasizes the word conquer (Greek nike) in the Revelation passages because it’s what we need to do when we suffer. Nike in other versions is also translated “overcome” or “victorious” and is where Nike tennis shoes gets its name. We need to keep the faith by honoring God through every hardship, disease, persecution, and even to our own deaths. When we do that, we conquer and we will inherit the kingdom.  

Truth Journal Section 4: Prayers

The first time Clay had cancer 19 years ago, I made the mistake of praying over every possible future I could think of. I thought praying over each to the point of peace would fill me with lasting peace. But it didn’t. Instead, I’d pray to the point of peace about one possible future only to have another possibility disrupt my peace.

My prayer section is labeled “PRAYERS” and begins with Philippians 4:4-7 broken into lines that I can pray. We’ve both memorized it so we can pray it aloud often. One of us will recite part of the verse and then both of us will pray according to what it says.

Philippians 4:4–7

Prayers page in Truth Journal

Here’s an example of how we might pray, with the Scripture in bold and our prayers in italics:

  • Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice.
    • Lord, we rejoice that this is the path you’ve set before us. We rejoice that the brain MRI showed no cancer. We rejoice in how you sent Wingtip to encourage us in how you answer prayers in better ways than we even ask. We rejoice [here we go through as many things from the Remembrances section as we can remember].
  • Let your forbearance be known to all.
    • Father, help us to forbear in this situation and to show others the forbearance you give us.
  • The Lord is at hand.
    • Lord Jesus, thank you that you are at hand, that you are right here with us now.
  • Do not be anxious about anything.
    • Father, forgive me for being anxious about the results taking so long. Help me not to be anxious, for you have this in your hand.
  • But in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
    • Lord, help the lab to correctly identify the molecular profile, and let it be one that is more easily treatable.
  • And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Psalm 71

Psalm 71’s theme is continual hope and it’s my favorite prayer for building hope. I plan to add a prayer based on Psalm 71 once we have the oncologist’s prognosis.

Prayer Requests and Answers

We both have a spot for prayer requests and answers. Clay entitles his “Recent Opportunities to Trust God.” I have mine on a separate page with two columns labeled “Prayer Requests” and “Answers.”

Conclusion

If you’re going through a crisis, try creating a Truth Journal and reading it often. Arrange it any way that works best for you, just as Clay and I have. It’ll calm fears and help you face crises with hope.

Downloadable Truth Journal

The Joy Super Bonus Bundle has a downloadable Truth journal that you can print.

Related Posts

  •  Fight Fear with Truth: This explains how to create a Truth Journal for combatting doubts and false beliefs.

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We Will Not Fear

“We will not fear,” the Psalms tell us. Yet these are difficult times. My girlfriend just texted me for prayer—her sister has surgery today for breast cancer, but their widowed mother can’t visit because she’s at high risk for coronavirus. My brother-in-law has an inoperable brain tumor, and out-of-state family can no longer visit. At the same time, his ability to use technology is fading. Additionally, my husband is losing his job for reasons unrelated to COVID-19, but so are millions of others due to shelter-in-place mandates.

So what is our hope during a worldwide crisis? How do we not fear?

Psalm 46 tells us.

We Will Not Fear

God is our refuge and strength
        an ever-present help in trouble
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
        and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
though its waters roar and foam
        and the mountains quake with their surging.
(Psalm 46:1-3)

Nestled in the first three verses are reasons to reject fear even when the earth gives way to a virus’s ravages.

We Will Not Fear Because God Is Our Refuge

We can go to our heavenly Father whenever danger nears. The psalms often describe God as a rock of refuge—a mountainous rock covered in caves and clefts that conceal us from risk. While we take refuge in homes from COVID-19, let us also take refuge in our God.

We will not fear. Image of Meteora, Greece by Stathis floros / CC BY-SA (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0)
Meteora rock formations in Greece. By Stathis floros / CC BY-SA (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0)

We Will Not Fear Because God Is Our Strength

The apostle Paul says God’s “power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9). For when we’re weak but rely on God, then we are strong. He knows our days and he’s counted the hairs on our heads.

We Will Not Fear Because God Is an Ever-Present Help in Trouble

His presence is with us. His Holy Spirit is in us. He will never leave us or forsake us (Hebrews 13:5).

Because God is our refuge, our strength, and our ever-present help, we can choose to not fear.

We Will Not Fear Because the City of God Awaits

There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
        the holy habitation of the Most High.
God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved;
        God will help her when morning dawns.
The nations rage, the kingdoms totter;
        he utters his voice, the earth melts.
(Psalm 46:4-6)

Earth’s Jerusalem is often called the city of God. But that Jerusalem has no river. What city of God does this speak of then?

This holy habitation is the heavenly Jerusalem of which the earthly city was but a type: “You have come to Mount Zion and to the city of the living God, the heavenly Jerusalem… and to Jesus” (Hebrews 12:22,24). In the new heavens and earth, the river of life flows from the throne of God through the city’s center (Revelation 22:1-2). And the tree of life grows on its banks.

We Will Not Fear Because God Appoints Our Time

Humans lost access to the tree of life at the fall, leaving death to reign. But Jesus died and rose again to open the way to eternal life for all who believe in him.

We will not fear. Tower of Refuge image by Gregory J. Kingsley.
Tower of Refuge on St. Mary’s Isle by Gregory J. Kingsley (licensed under Creative Commons Share Alike https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)

Each of us has an appointed time to die (Hebrews 9:27). Indeed, doctors have told some of us that our day is near. The rest of us await such notice with eyes averted in the hope that it’s still far off. But the new virus’s spread reminds us that our time comes, perhaps even soon.

But coronavirus can’t change our assigned time to die. Either it’s our moment or it’s not. Does that mean we should act foolishly? Of course not! Rather, reckless behavior merely suggests that our preset time may be close.

Yet death is not our end. It is our new beginning.

We Will Not Fear Because We Know Our Future

Here on earth, nations rage and kingdoms totter. The cursed earth spews pestilence and plague. The sea roars in devastating power. But a day comes when God “utters his voice” and “the earth melts” (Psalm 46:6). “The heavens will be set on fire and dissolved” (2 Peter 3:12).

But that is not cause for despair, for “we are waiting for new heavens and a new earth in which righteousness dwells” (2 Peter 3:13). We are coming to the holy city of God that “shall not be moved” within which flows “a river whose streams make glad the city of God” (Psalm 46:4,5). There those who belong to the Lamb will see God’s face and dwell with him forever more.

That is why we must heed these words: “set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth” (Colossians 3:2). Yes, we have an appointed time to die—but death for the Christian merely means moving into the presence of God.

We Will Not Fear Because the Lord Is with Us

The LORD of hosts is with us;
        the God of Jacob is our fortress. Selah
(Psalm 46:7,11)

Psalm 46’s refrain says the One who commands angelic armies is with us. Not only that, but he is our fortress. Picture tall towers and walls too high to scale. Hosts of angels and an impenetrable fortress convey this message: We are safe. And indeed we are, for “According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you” (1 Peter 1:3-4).

Imperishable, undefiled, and unfading. Selah. Pause and ponder.

We Will Be Still and Know that God Is God

Come, behold the works of the LORD,
        how he has brought desolations on the earth.
He makes wars cease to the end of the earth;
        he breaks the bow and shatters the spear;
        he burns the chariots with fire.
“Be still, and know that I am God.
        I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth!”
(Psalm 46:8-10)

Remembering that the LORD of hosts is with us and that he is our fortress encourages us to turn our eyes to grander things. Yes, God cursed the earth bringing desolation. But he is also ushering us into this age’s finish when he will end all wars and judge all people. Then he will bring those who belong to him to the new heavens and earth where death is no more.

God himself says, “Be still, and know that I am God.” When fear assails us, this is what we do. We turn to him, still ourselves, and repeat these words from him. We can do it because God has told us the end of our story. We will be with him, and he will be exalted. He is God.

We Will Remember the Lord Is with Us

The LORD of hosts is with us;
        the God of Jacob is our fortress. Selah
(Psalm 46:7,11)

Again, he is with us even now, and he is our fortress. Selah. Pause, ponder, and pray. Hear his words: “Be still, and know that I am God.”

A Prayer

A prayer based on Psalm 46.

God is our refuge and strength,
            a very present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear though pandemic fills the earth,
            though world economies plunge into the heart of the sea,
though media roar and foam,
            and people tremble at the news.
There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
            the holy habitation of the Most High.
God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved;
            God will help her when morning dawns.
The nations rage, the kingdoms totter;
            he utters his voice, the earth melts.
The LORD of hosts is with us;
            the God of Jacob is our fortress.
Come, behold the works of the LORD,
            the heavens and earth are stored up for fire.
He will make war cease to the end of the earth;
            he will break all weapons of war;
            he will destroy the subs, silos, and tanks.
He will bring us to his holy habitation.
“Be still, and know that I am God,
            I will be exalted among the nations,
            I will be exalted in the earth.”
The LORD of hosts is with us;
            the God of Jacob is our fortress.
God himself says, “Be still, and know that I am God.” When fear assails us, this is what we do. Share on X

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14 Verses That Will Give You Peace

Need peace? Here are 14 verses to help. Adapted from Discovering Joy in Philippians.

Assurance of Salvation

It’s common for new Christians to doubt their salvation, but these verses can bring peace.

But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God.

John 1:12
John 1:12 gives peace by assuring us of salvation

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.  For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.

John 3:16-17

Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life. He does not come into judgment, but has passed from death to life.

John 5:24

Assurance of Forgiveness

Here are verses to repeat after going to our heavenly Father to confess sin.

Come now, let us reason together, says the LORD: though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall become like wool.

Isaiah 1:18

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

1 John 1:9

Doubt

When we face doubts, these verses can help bring peace.

We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ,

2 Corinthians 10:5

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.

Proverbs 3:5

Temptation

These peace-giving verses help when we face temptation.

No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

1 Corinthians 10:13

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.

Matthew 5:6

Discouragement

We all face discouraging times. These verses can bring peace to discouraged hearts.

Peace verses
Philippians 1:6 is a verse that gives peace when we’re discouraged

And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.

Philippians 1:6

For it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.

Philippians 2:13

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 8:37-39

Fear

Here are verses that calm us when fears disturb our peace.

Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.

1 Peter 5:7

Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”

Hebrews 13:5

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Christians Need the Bible’s Big Picture

I took oil painting lessons from my mother-in-law, Rae, who was a former Disney artist. (The painting displayed in this post is her work. Sadly, we lost my paintings in a move.) Each week she critiqued my progress and told me what to work on next. One week I added complementary under layers to my canvas. Because the butter leaf green background needed red for depth, I squirted red ochre onto my palette and swirled it with dabs of other pigments. The odors of linseed oil and turpentine permeated the air as I leaned close to my aluminum easel so I could meticulously merge the muddy maroon into the mossy background.

Close up of painting by Rae Jones shows big picture versus detail
Close-up of Rae’s painting shows colors used in sky

As I carefully brushed and delicately blended, my husband walked in the door, stopped, and declared, “You gave the painting measles!”

“No, I didn’t,” I said, frowning. “It’s depth.”

“Come over here and look at it,” he said, laughing.

None too pleased over his lack of appreciation for my artistic enhancements, I walked over to where he stood and looked back at the painting. Sure enough: measles. What up close looked like subtle gradations of color, at a distance looked like leopard skin.

When I took my polka dotted canvas to Rae, she showed me how to meld undertones by standing back to see what the painting as a whole needed, coming in close for precise brush strokes, and then stepping back again to view the overall affect. It didn’t take long before the reds and greens not only looked as if they belonged together, but showed they needed each other for depth and balance.

The Need for Big Picture Bible Studies

Discovering Jesus in the OT cover
Discovering Jesus in the Old Testament

Reading the Bible is like painting a picture in our minds and souls. While it’s important to come in close to study passages and books, it’s also important to step back and see how the individual parts explain and deepen our understanding of the whole. Then we can see how all the parts of the Bible belong together and how they need each other for depth and balance—for the whole picture.

In the Bible studies I write with Pam Farrel and Karla Dornacher, the book Discovering Jesus in the Old Testament gives the big picture. Every chapter starts with Genesis and ends with Revelation as it displays an aspect of what the Old Testament promises, prophecies, and types tell us about Jesus. For instance, the chapter “Jesus the King Forever” starts with God’s mandate to humankind to reign over the earth, looks at God’s promise to King David of a descendant whose throne will last forever, sees how the prophets say David was a type of a future righteous King who will reign forever, notices what the New Testament says about Jesus fulfilling these OT passages, and rejoices in what is to come: Jesus reigns forever and humankind reigns under him in the new heavens and earth.

The Need for Close-up Bible Studies

Discovering Joy in Philippians
Discovering Joy in Philippians

Just as Rae taught me to come in close when painting detail, so we do best when we alternate stepping back for the big picture and moving in for the detail in studying the Bible. That’s why we also write books that move in close, too. For instance, Discovering Joy in Philippians looks with great detail at the apostle Paul’s letter to the Philippians. It starts in Acts with Paul preaching the gospel in Philippi and being thrown in prison. But we see that wonderful things happen when he and Silas sing praises to God. Then the Discovering book delves deeply into Philippians and all Paul says about discovering joy in any circumstance.

Discovering Hope in the Psalms is a close-up look, too. It examines ten psalms about the hopes God’s people share. These psalms show us how to pray in a way that helps our hope in God soar, even–or especially–when we encounter disappointment or evil. The psalms point us to the One who gives us hope for now and eternity.

What Are You Looking For?

If you haven’t studied the Bible’s big picture for some time, consider Discovering Jesus in the Old Testament. If you’ve recently finished a big picture study, one of our close-up studies may be a fit for you.

If you haven't studied the Bible's big picture for some time, consider "Discovering Jesus in the Old Testament." Share on X
Discovering Hope in the Psalms

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Here are Amazon affiliate links. You can also find the books at ChristianBook.com, Barnes & Noble, and your local bookstores.

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Rip Off Joy-Killing False Beliefs!

One morning I tried and tried to twist open the pump top of a new shampoo bottle, but couldn’t do it. I called Clay over to help. When he couldn’t open it either, he looked more closely and discovered transparent shrink-wrap covering the pump. Once he removed the shrink-wrap, opening the pump was a breeze.

Especially in my early years as a Christian, I’d try to understand and apply a scripture, but I’d fail because an invisible shrink-wrap of false beliefs got in my way. These false beliefs killed joy in God’s promises and care. I needed to peel off those false beliefs to get to the Bible’s truths. Thankfully, the Holy Spirit is great at revealing and unpeeling false beliefs.

Over the years, I’ve discovered five ways to peel away false beliefs.

1) Believe Scripture Over Feelings

Although I’d made Jesus Lord of my life and I’d confessed my sins, at first, I didn’t feel forgiven. But my feelings contradicted 1 John 1:9: “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” The belief that my feelings were more reliable than Scripture was a false belief shrink-wrapped around the verse. I needed to place my faith in Scripture, not my feelings. As I did so, my feelings followed my faith.

Bill Bright, the founder of CRU, put it this way:

Let us call the train engine “fact”—the fact of God’s promises found in His Word. The fuel car we will call “faith”—your trust in God and His Word. The caboose we will call “feelings.”

As fuel flows into the engine, the train runs. It would be futile and, of course, ridiculous to attempt to pull the train by the caboose. In the same way you, as a Christian, should not depend upon feelings or emotion [to] live a Spirit-filled life. Rather, God wants you to simply place your faith in his trustworthiness and the promises of His Word.

Feelings are like the caboose—they are important but are designed to follow a life of faith and obedience.

Bill Bright, “Experiencing the Adventure“
The belief that my feelings were more reliable than Scripture was a false belief shrink-wrapped around the verse. Share on X

2) Meditate on Scripture

Once Clay removed the shrink-wrap from my shampoo bottle and twisted it open, I had to pump it many times to draw the shampoo into the spout so it would flow. Likewise, when we’ve removed a false belief, we may need to repeat the truth we want to take its place many times until it flows freely in our lives.

In Joshua 1:8, God says to meditate on Scripture “day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it.” Biblical meditation includes saying the words aloud and thinking about them so we understand and apply them. When I find a verse with a message I need, I underline it in my Bible with brightly colored pens. I read it daily or post a copy of it on my computer screen.

3) Illustrate Scripture

Studies show that people learn better from words and pictures than from words alone.[i] That’s a great excuse to use colored pens to draw symbols and sketch stick figures in my Bible’s narrow margins. Sometimes I embroider and cross-stitch favorite verses. Artist Karla Dornacher illustrates verses in a wide-margin Bible and creates cards and wall-hangings.

Embroider Scripture to overcome false beliefs
Psalms 30 & 73

4) Act Out Scripture

Here’s a fun way to absorb a new truth: Act it out. For instance, when I realized that God forgave all my sin, joy bubbled over in me. But later I doubted whether forgiveness meant acceptance. That doubt stole my joy. One day my then boyfriend Clay asked a group of us to try an exercise: List sins on a sheet of toilet paper, write 1 John 1:9 in red across the list, shred the paper into a toilet, and flush the paper to visualize our sins being washed away. That simple action eradicated my doubts. Thereafter when I confessed sins and doubt appeared, I visualized the flushed water washing them away. It made me smile and thanksgiving replaced doubt.

5) Create a Truth Journal

Most if not all of us grow up believing lies of some sort: “You’re only valuable if…”; “You’ll always be a failure”; “No one will ever believe you”; “You’re nothing but trash”; “You can’t be happy without a spouse.” Yuck. Additionally, crises such as health scares can bombard us with new fears.

Some lies and fears are like shrink-wrap we can’t get a fingernail under to remove. When that happens, I create a truth journal. In a notebook or journal, I list truths, numbering each one. I add comforting scriptures as I find them. I sketch rough pictures that encapsulate ideas.

I don’t write any lies, fears, or doubts because they’ve already had too much play in my mind. I avoid “positive thinking” statements that may not be true.

I read the truth journal first thing in the morning, last thing at night, and any time between that I want more peace. The truths break the shrink-wrap free.

Discovering Joy in Philippians

Adapted from Discovering Joy in Philippians

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[i] John Medina, Brain Rules: 12 Principles for Surviving and Thriving at Work, Home and School, 2nd ed. (Seattle: Pear Press, 2014), 175.

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10 Things You Want to Know About Heaven But are Embarrassed to Ask

By Jean E. Jones. “10 Things You Want to Know About Heaven But are Embarrassed to Ask” first appeared on Crosswalk.com, August 2017.

Fighting back tears, a young woman confessed to my husband that she was afraid she didn’t want to go to heaven. Since then, as we’ve related that story to others, we’ve discovered many Christians have that fear.

And no wonder! Artists and movie makers depict heaven as a colorless place where the occupants sport wings and halos and have nothing better to do than strum harps and lounge on clouds. Furthermore, skeptics like Mark Twain denounce heaven as unbearably boring and full of hypocritical prudes.

Misconceptions about heaven abound. So let’s clear some of them up. Here are 10 questions that Christians are embarrassed to ask about heaven.

1. Is heaven in the clouds?

Comics and movies typically depict heaven’s occupants as lolling on fluffy, white clouds. But that’s not at all what the Bible depicts. Still, part of the confusion is that the word “heaven” has three meanings:

  1. The sky: “heaven gave rain” (James 5:18)
  2. The physical cosmos containing stars and planets: “In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth” (Genesis 1:1)
  3. The unseen spiritual realm where God’s throne and celestial beings such as angels reside: “The Lord’s throne is in heaven” (Psalm 11:4)

The Bible teaches that on the day of the Lord, the physical cosmos “will be burned up and dissolved, and the earth and the works that are done on it will be exposed” (2 Peter 3:10). Then after the judgment, God will create new heavens and a new earth (Revelation 21:1). Finally, those whose names are in the Book of Life will dwell there with God (Revelation 21:3).

2. Will heaven be plain white?

Will heaven be plain white?

Television, movies, and paintings often depict heaven as all white: occupants with white wings wear white robes and rest on white clouds. Consequently, everything looks sterile.

However, Revelation’s description of the new dwelling place is quite different. Yes, the city gates are of pearl. But the city’s wall is multi-colored jasper and the city itself is gold. Also, the wall’s foundation is bejeweled with jasper, deep blue sapphire, pale blue chalcedony, blue-green beryl, deep green emerald, apple-green chrysoprase, yellow-green chrysolite, yellow-brown topaz, orange-red jacinth, red-and-white striped sardonyx, dark red carnelian, and bright purple amethyst (Revelation 21:18-21). Additionally, in the city flows a river surrounded by a dozen types of fruit-bearing trees (22:1-2).

Moreover, I can’t imagine that the God who created our current heavens and earth with a magnificent rainbow of colors that blaze across the night and morning skies, dance in pansies and daisies, and flash from hummingbirds and orioles, has lost his love for color!

3. Do people become angels in heaven?

In Charles Dickens’ The Old Curiosity Shop, a child says to Little Nell, “Why, they say… that you will be an angel, before the birds sing again.” But is the idea that people who go to heaven become angels a biblical one?

Not at all.

God created the angels before he created the earth (Psalm 148:2-5; Job 38:6-7). Moreover, angels are ministering spirits who serve “those who are going to inherit salvation” (Hebrews 1:13-14). People don’t turn into angels when they die; rather, at the end of the age, angels will “separate the evil from the righteous” people (Matthew 13:49).

Further, something more wonderful is in store for God’s children: “The Lord Jesus Christ… will transform our lowly body to be like his glorious body” (Philippians 3:20-21). Indeed, it will be an imperishable body, raised in glory and power, a spiritual body that bears the image of Christ (1 Corinthians 15:42-49).

4. Will people have wings and halos in heaven?

"The Ascension of Christ" to heaven by Rembrandt
Rembrandt: The Ascension of Christ

Artists who show humans with wings in heaven are probably thinking that people turn into angels. Most artists give angels wings, although according to the International Standard Bible Encyclopedia, the Bible nowhere describes angels as winged, though they sometimes fly (Daniel 9:21).

However, the resurrected bodies of those entering the pearly gates will be like Jesus’ resurrected body (Philippians 3:21). When he appeared to his disciples after he rose from the dead, he had no wings. So resurrected humans won’t either.

As to halos, I used to think that came from Daniel 12:3, which says “those who are wise shall shine like the brightness of the sky above; and those who turn many to righteousness, like the stars forever and ever.” But I was wrong. It turns out ancient artists placed halos around paintings and etchings of important people and religious figures so they’d stand out. In fact, there’s no mention of halos anywhere in the Bible.

5. Will people in heaven lose their sense of taste, touch, or smell?

Indeed, that was the message of the movie City of Angels (1998). In it, Nicholas Cage stars as an angel named Seth. But Seth can’t taste, touch, or smell. He falls in love with a human (played by Meg Ryan) and gives up eternity so he can make love to her. She dies, but he concludes that smelling her hair and kissing her just once was better than anything an eternity in heaven had to offer.

Certainly, that’s an unappealing heaven! But it’s not what the Bible describes.

Instead, after Jesus was raised from the dead, the disciples touched and hugged Jesus and ate with him (Luke 24:39-43; John 20:17). Additionally, Philippians 3:21 says Jesus “will transform our lowly body to be like his glorious body.” If Jesus could taste, touch, and smell, we’ll be able to, too. In fact, our reunion with Christ is called “the marriage supper of the Lamb” (Revelation 19:9).

6. Will heaven be full of nerds and prudes?

In high school, I went with my then-boyfriend Clay to the youth group at his church. There, the pastor’s daughter said she wanted to go to hell because that’s where all her friends would be. Indeed, she echoed Mark Twain’s sentiment: “Choose heaven for the climate and hell for the company.”

Clay points out that in heaven, “There will be murderers (such as Moses), adulterers (such as David), and prostitutes (such as Rahab). But they will all be repentant. Hell, on the other hand, will also be full of rapists, whiners, cowards, liars, and many a Pharisee, but none of them will be repentant” (Why Does God Allow Evil?, 165).

Furthermore, C.S. Lewis explained that every person “may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would strongly be tempted to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such that you now meet, if at all, only in a nightmare” (The Weight of Glory and Other Addresses, 45).

7. Will we recognize loved ones in heaven?

People who have lost loved ones are often concerned about whether they’ll see and recognize those dear to them in heaven. Certainly, part of this concern arises from misunderstanding Isaiah 65:17: “For behold, I create new heavens and a new earth, and the former things shall not be remembered or come into mind.”

But the prior verse says that God says “the former troubles are forgotten and are hidden from my eyes.” In the Bible, when God says he will no longer remember something, he doesn’t mean he gives up his omniscience. Rather, he means he will no longer remember it for the sake of punishing it. So Isaiah 65:17 is saying God won’t remember our past sins against us in the new heaven and earth.

Also, Revelation 14:13 says our deeds will follow us, which can’t be done if we don’t remember them! Moreover, other passages show the dead remembering their earthly life: Luke 16:25; 2 Corinthians 1:4; Revelation 6:9-11.

8. Will there be sadness in heaven over unsaved loved ones?

Won’t knowing unsaved loved ones are in hell make heaven miserable? Philosopher Adam Pelser argues that the saved may at times feel somberness over the lost, but that will not diminish joy (Paradise Understood, 131). For instance, even on earth, somberness and joy can coexist (James 1:2).

Also, at the judgment, God will expose every deed, thought, and motive of those who refuse to turn from wrongdoing and turn to Jesus Christ as Lord. When we see how those who have rejected Jesus’ gift of eternal life “really are,” we won’t miss being with them.

Additionally, the unsaved won’t exist as we knew them. For example, C.S. Lewis wrote, “What is cast (or casts itself) into hell is not a man: it is ‘remains’… To be an ex-man or ‘damned ghost’—would presumably mean to consist of a will utterly centred in the self and passions utterly uncontrolled by the will” (The Problem of Pain, 113-114). If Lewis is right, then seeing ex-humans with uncontrolled wills will do much to help us understand why they are lost.

9. Will shame keep us from enjoying heaven?

Some people worry that remembering terrible things they did on this earth would be too painful. Although they know the Bible says that those who believe Jesus is the Son of God who died for their sins will receive eternal life, they still feel ashamed.

But God wants us to let go of shame after we repent from and confess our sin. To not accept his forgiveness suggests that we think our standards are higher than God’s! Yet Scripture assures us that “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9). It also tells us if we forget God has cleansed us, we won’t mature spiritually (2 Peter 1:9).

Those overcome with shame often think they’re worse than other people. But at the judgment, they will see that many others shared their sins, just as 1 Corinthians 10:13 says. So if they never succeeded in fully realizing God’s complete forgiveness and cleansing on this earth, they will see it with their own eyes in heaven.

10. Will heaven be boring?

Bored cherubs in heaven in Sistine Madonna by Rafael [Public Domain]
Rafael: Bored cherubs in Sistine Madonna

For instance, in Mark Twain’s Huckleberry Finn, Tom Sawyer said that Miss Watson “went on and told me all about the good place. She said all a body would have to do there was to go around all day long with a harp and sing, forever and ever. So I didn’t think too much of it. But I never said so.”

The idea that we’ll do nothing in heaven but sing comes from a misunderstanding of Revelation 4:8, which describes “four living creatures” with six wings who “day and night… never cease to say, ‘Holy, holy, holy, is the Lord God Almighty, who was and is and is to come!’” But “never cease” means they sing this regularly, not that they sing forever in a loop. Indeed, they give commands (Revelation 6:1-2), sing different songs (14:3), and distribute bowls to angels (15:7).

Of course humans will worship God. But our primary occupation will be reigning with Christ forever in the magnificent new heavens and earth (Revelation 22:5).

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7 Free Tools for Understanding the Old Testament

My church’s women’s Bible study just completed Angie Smith’s Seamless: Understanding the Bible as One Complete Story. It was perfect for small groups that have a mix of new believers and mature Christians (more on that next week). Several women told me they’d love to understand the Old Testament even better, especially where the prophetic books fit in with the histories. They also wanted to dive deeper into their understanding of the entire story of the Bible. So I’m offering a two-part series on tools to help you do just that.

Old Testament timeline of Daniel

Timeline: Daniel in Exile 620 to 530 BC

Here I offer

  • A link to a free downloadable Bible outline
  • A link to six timelines to help you understand the Old Testament
  • Tips on using those tools to read the Old Testament chronologically
  • A short explanation of how the Old Testament prophetic books fit with the books of history

Old Testament and New Testament Outline

The Bible’s books are arranged by genre. You need to know a book’s genre to understand what you’re reading. If your Bible’s table of contents doesn’t outline the books for you, go to my Free Resources page and click the link to Subscriber Specials. There you’ll find a downloadable  Bible outline you can use to add headings to your contents page.

Old Testament Outline

Bible Outline

As the Bible Outline shows, the Old Testament books of Joshua through Esther are histories. Reading the histories chronologically gives us a better understanding of what happened. The histories are listed chronologically with three exceptions:

  • Ruth takes place somewhere within Judges.
  • 1,2 Chronicles were written around the time of Ezra and Nehemiah, but they chronicle King David’s reign and the reigns of his descendants.
    • Chapters 1-9 are genealogies starting with Adam. Part of chapter 9 goes with Nehemiah 11.
    • The rest of 1,2 Chronicles goes with 1 Samuel 31 to the end of 2 Kings.
  • Esther goes with Ezra 4:6.

How to Read 1,2 Chronicles Chronologically

Saul, David, and Solomon reigned over all of Israel. After Solomon, the kingdom split into two kingdoms: Israel to the north and Judah to the south. David’s descendants ruled over the south. While 1,2 Kings summarizes the reigns of both kingdoms, 1,2 Chronicles summarizes only the reigns of David and his descendants. Therefore, to read Kings with Chronicles, use two bookmarks. When you finish reading about David, Solomon, and any king of Judah, hop over to Chronicles and read about the same king.

Timelines for Reading the Old Testament Prophets with the Histories

Timelines that show historical events and when the prophets ministered will help you understand what events the prophets were talking about. They’ll also help you coordinate reading the histories and prophetic books together.

How the Prophetic Books are Arranged

The books of the prophets are divided into two groups:

  • The Major Prophets ministered over decades so their books are longer (“major” means long)
  • The Minor Prophets ministered for shorter times so their books are shorter (“minor” means short).

How to Read the Prophetic Books with the Histories

NIV Old Testament timelines

NIV Timeline showing the prophets’ ministries (Zondervan)

To read the prophetic books with the histories, keep timelines at hand. My NIV Zondervan Study Bible has timelines that show key historical events, the kings’ reigns, and the ministries of the major prophets and half the minor prophets. I wrote five additional minor prophets’ names on the timeline approximately where they go (see figure).  Two prophetic books are missing from this timeline: Lamentations, which Jeremiah wrote so it belongs with Jeremiah’s ministry on the timeline, and Joel, whose date is unknown. If your Bible has timelines, use the figure to the right to fill in any missing prophets.

Free Timelines

I often create additional timelines that zoom in on time periods that have a lot of related material. Over on the Free Resources page, click the link for Subscriber Specials to find six timelines I created for The Story: Personal Journal and Discussion Guide  (the guide is there, too). The timelines show you at a glance where the main prophets fit within the histories.

  • 1 Kings Of Israel and Judah 930 to 850 BC
  • 2 The Beginning of the End 750 to 680 BC: The fall of Israel and the prophetic ministries of Amos, Hosea, and Isaiah
  • 3 The Kingdoms Fall 655 to 570 BC: The fall of Judah and the prophetic ministries of Jeremiah, Daniel, and Ezekiel
  • 4 Daniel in Exile 620 to 530 BC: Shows Daniel’s chapters chronologically
  • 5 The Return Home 540 to 470 BC: The return from Exile, Esther, and the prophetic ministries of Daniel, Haggai, and Zechariah
  • 6 Rebuilding the Walls 480 to 430 BC: Esther, rebuilding the walls under Ezra and Nehemiah, and the prophetic ministry of Malachi

Understanding How the Prophetic Books and Histories Relate

The key to understanding how most of the prophets and histories relate is this cycle:

  1. When Moses brought the Israelites to the Promised Land, he warned them that if they ever turned away from God and started committing the sins of the current inhabitants (such as sacrificing children to idols), God would drive them out of the land.
  2. Whenever the people went astray, God sent prophets to call them to repent and return to God lest God drive them out of the land.
  3. Eventually the people quit listening to the prophets, so the prophets’ message changed to one of impending judgment via exile followed by grace; the messages of grace talked about a new King who would one day rule righteously.

The northern kingdom of Israel quit listening to the prophets first, so God sent Assyria to deport them from the land. Later, the southern kingdom of Judah quit listening to the prophets and God sent Babylon to deport them. After 70 years, God allowed the people to return to the land, but they were ruled by foreign powers. There they awaited the new anointed King, the Messiah. The New Testament tells us about him: Jesus Christ.

Tips About the Major Prophets

NIV Zondervan Study Bible with Old Testament Notes

NIV Zondervan Study Bible (affiliate link to Amazon)

Here are a couple helpful points about the major prophets.

  • All the major prophets are from Judah (the southern kingdom)
  • Isaiah prophesied around the time of the fall of Israel (the northern kingdom); the rest prophesied around the time of the fall of Judah
  • Judah’s exile happened in three stages, resulting in 3 prophets speaking from diverse places
    • Daniel went to the Babylonian king’s palace in the first deportation; he served in government and showed God was in charge
    • Ezekiel went to Mesopotamia in the second deportation; ministered to exiles
    • Jeremiah stayed in Jerusalem until the third deportation and Jerusalem’s fall; he helped the people who ignored his warnings mourn
  • Only Ezekiel is chronological

Tips About the Minor Prophets

  • The Minor Prophets are clustered around 3 events:
    • The time leading up to and surrounding Israel’s exile: The first 6 books except Obadiah and perhaps Joel (Joel’s date is unknown)
    • The time leading up to Judah’s exile: Books 7-9 plus Obadiah
    • Between Judah’s restoration and the end of Ezra’s and Nehemiah’s reforms: The last 3 books
  • They tell us a lot about social injustice and what God thinks about the rich and powerful taking advantage of the weak
  • Want to know more? Here’s an article I wrote for Crosswalk: 6 Things Every Christian Should Know About the Minor Prophets

Next week I’ll review Bibles, books, and study guides that are helpful for understanding the Old Testament.

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The Ultimate Reason Behind Unforgiveness

What’s the ultimate reason behind unforgiveness? Part 5 of “Forgive Intentional Sin—Don’t Just Manage Emotions.”

Forgiving without excusing is hard, so hard it sometimes seems unforgiveness won’t ever let go.

When I stopped excusing my mother’s actions as based on ignorance and inability to help herself, I had to learn something new: forgiving without excusing. I made good progress when I prayed in ways that bolstered faith in God’s promises and good care. The anger eased significantly. But it still sometimes flared unexpectedly.

Unforgiveness & a Cry for Help

Then one day it erupted in a way that scared me. I was driving my pale blue Toyota Corolla to work as the sun was just rising, when I spied a girl in a steel blue school uniform skipping gaily, two perfect dark braids bouncing on her carefully pressed short-sleeved shirt.

Her mother loves her, I thought. And then, I hate her!

In that moment I feared what I would become if I didn’t forgive my mother: filled with hatred and jealousy towards those who had what I wanted, even if they hadn’t wronged me. My stomach churned as I realized I had it in me to be like her. In my pride, I hadn’t thought that possible. Though I might never hurt a child as she did, if I harbored hatred I would be like her.

Suddenly, I wondered when she first chose not to forgive. Had she stood at the same crossroads, but made the easier choice and let bitterness seep in, not knowing it would spread and finally rule?

I clenched the steering wheel in desperation. “God, I don’t want to become like my mother. Help me forgive!”

Unforgiveness & a Cry for Justice

Unforgiveness finds Justice in the Crucifixion

The Crucifixion (Rembrandt [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons)

I considered how Jesus compared forgiving sin to forgiving a debt, and thought perhaps if I prayed aloud to release her from her debt—for God not to punish her for her sins—that might equal forgiveness even if my emotions dallied.

“God, I want you not to punish—” Do I? “No! That’s not what I want! I want Justice!”

And then I understood. More quietly I finished, “But I also want to be forgiven.” I paused as I remembered my ugliest sins.

I turned onto the freeway. Ahead, the morning sun had risen above the horizon. “God, I know my many sins against you far outweigh hers against me. So I pray that you draw my mother to know you, and if she receives Jesus as her Savior, then Justice will be done by his shed blood. And if she rejects Jesus, then Justice will be done when her sins are held against her. I forgive her as I want to be forgiven, and leave her in your hands.”

At that moment I knew it wasn’t mine to determine whether my mother received eternal forgiveness. That was between her and God. It wasn’t even mine to know to what degree my mother’s actions were intentional: Only God sees the heart.

In my heart, mercy had triumphed over judgment.

Peace washed up and through me. Yes, Justice would be done. I was humbled by the glimpse of the depths to which I could fall without God’s grace. And I was no longer angry. I truly wanted God to give my mother the same grace I wanted him to give me.

Unforgiveness Stripped Away

That was many years ago. Neither the jealousy nor the rage returned. As new affronts came—whether from her or others—the lessons learned through forgiving my mother helped me continue to forgive without excusing.

How Excusing Sin Leads to Unforgiveness

In time I understood how excusing sin actually produced the pride that prevented forgiving. I had initially excused my mother’s wrongs by telling myself she didn’t know better; after all, no sane person would purposefully and knowingly harm children. Thus, my siblings and I were safe from repeating her actions because we knew better. We were better than she because we had superior knowledge.

When my false belief that she didn’t know better collapsed, its sister belief changed slightly: “My siblings and I and most people I know would never purposefully and knowingly harm children.” Now, we were better than she innately.

Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn & why unforgiveness is unwarranted

Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn (by Verhoeff, Bert / Anefo [CC BY-SA 3.0 nl (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/nl/deed.en)], via Wikimedia Commons)

And that was the pride blocking forgiveness: this subconscious sense that I was somehow better than she and therefore more deserving of mercy. When I wasn’t.

Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn, who suffered eight years in a Soviet gulag, asked this about those who committed genocide:

Where did this wolf-tribe appear from among our people? Does it really stem from our own roots? Our own blood?

It is our own.

And just so we don’t go around flaunting too proudly the white mantle of the just, let everyone ask himself: “If my life had turned out differently, might I myself not have become just such an executioner?”

It is a dreadful question if one answers it honestly.[i]

If I answer honestly, then I know that if my life had turned out differently (especially if I hadn’t come to Christ), I could have murdered or abused or terrorized or done any number of things I’ve escaped. I could have been like my mother. Because I’m not innately better. And therefore not more deserving of mercy.

We can Choose to Forgive

We can choose to forgive because forgiving is about more than one relationship with an offender: It’s about future relationships; about healing us; and about participating in divine Justice and Mercy.

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[i] Solzhenitsyn, The Gulag Archipelago, 73.

Forgive Intentional Sin—Don’t Just Manage Emotions | In this series: 
  1. What Forgiving Isn’t: 5 Stand-ins that Masquerade as Forgiving
  2. Must I Forgive THIS Sin?
  3. What Makes Confessing and Forgiving Inseparable
  4. Four Sins that Require Faith to Forgive
  5. The Ultimate Reason Behind Unforgiveness
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4 Sins that Require Faith to Forgive

How do we take hold of faith to forgive when forgiving is tough? Part 4 of “Forgive Intentional Sin—Don’t Just Manage Emotions.”

Some sins are relatively easy to forgive: unintentional sins and minor wrongs, for instance. Other sins are much harder. Here are four that require faith to forgive.

It takes Faith to Forgive Sins that Cause Great Loss

When we lose possessions, relationships, health, or dreams because of someone’s sin, we’ll need faith to forgive: faith that we cannot lose anything of eternal value. Our heavenly treasures can be neither stolen nor destroyed (Matthew 6:19-21).

Martyrs had faith to forgive

Many early Christians lost everything (Konstantin Flavitsky, 1862, public domain)

I once lost a position after someone lied about me; I also lost relationships. I had to in faith believe that our losses and hurts here will not harm us in ways God cannot redeem. After all, God does work all things together for our good (Romans 8:28). Indeed, when we suffer loss and hardship with faith, we gain an eternal reward (1 Peter 1:6-7; 2 Corinthians 4:17).

Our earthly losses are losses of temporal things only. We must let them go, for holding onto grudges over things lost makes those things idols raised above obeying God. Because of their faith, the first Christians “joyfully accepted” the plundering of their property because they knew that they “had a better possession and an abiding one” in the life to come (Hebrews 10:34).

It takes Faith to Forgive Malicious Slander

False and malicious slander is a fiery dart in the hand of the jealous, the power hungry, the fame seeker, the revenge taker, and the self-justifier. When aimed at us, we need faith to forgive: faith that believes only God’s opinion matters. Like Paul, we must consider others’ judgments “a very small thing” (1 Corinthians 4:1-5).

False witnesses accuse Jesus before the ruling council (José Madrazo, 1803, public domain)

A leader who believed the lies I mentioned above expressed harsh words about me. I memorized and quoted 1 Corinthians 4:1-5 regularly. I imagined myself holding up a giant shield of faith between me and the fiery darts of his judgments. The shield extinguished the darts, blocked them from piercing me, and moved my eyes from them onto our Redeemer.

Jesus warned that we would be unfairly maligned: “If the head of the house has been called Beelzebul, how much more the members of his household! So do not be afraid of them, for there is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known” (Matthew 10:25-26). We don’t need to harbor unforgiveness because God can and will reveal the truth. His timing is perfect, even if the truth isn’t revealed till the Judgment.

It takes Faith to Forgive Wrongs Committed Over and Over and OVER

When family members or friends apologize, but keep doing the same things, they appear insincere. After all, repentance means trying to change. It takes faith to forgive repeatedly. In fact, when Jesus told the apostles they must forgive others over and over, they responded, “Increase our faith!” (Luke 17:3-5).

Jesus had faith to forgive Peter denying him 3 times

Peter denied Jesus 3 times (Carl Heinrich Bloch, 1873, public domain)

I doubt there’s anyone who hasn’t faced repeated wrongs. When my husband and I were dating, we agreed to never bring up a past wrong once we’ve said, “I forgive you.” To respond to an apology with, “But this is the fifth time,” is not loving, for love “keeps no record of wrongs” (1 Corinthians 13:5). Besides, bringing up past offenses separates even close friends, while putting forgiven faults behind us seeks love (Proverbs 17:9).

To forgive, I have to let go of that part of me which protests, “If she really cared, she wouldn’t keep doing this,” because how much someone loves me isn’t the point. That’s between her and God. My relationships aren’t about other people being what I want them to be: They’re about me being what God wants me to be.

Moreover, haven’t we all come to God confessing the same thing over and over again? We must grant the mercy we wish to receive. Only God knows the heart—which is why my part is to forgive and leave ultimate justice to God.

It takes Faith to Forgive Betrayal

Who hasn’t been betrayed by someone trusted? When we’re betrayed, it takes faith to forgive: faith that believes God rewards repaying hatred with love. Jesus calls us to love our enemies, do good to them, bless them, and pray for them, for God will greatly reward us (Luke 6:27-35).

Joseph had faith to forgive his brothers' betrayal

Joseph’s brothers sold him into slavery (Konstantin Flavitsky, 1855, public domain)

When betrayed, we must remember no one can circumvent God’s good plans for us (Romans 8:28-31). After I learned that my mother knew her sins against me and my siblings were wrong, I prayed for insight into why the anger held on even though I’d tried to forgive her.

My Right?

It struck me that part of the reason is that I had considered parental love and goodness a right. God commands them, to be sure. But God had adopted me and I had a new, perfect Parent who was giving me all I needed: “Even if my father and mother abandon me, the Lord will hold me close” (Psalm 27:10).

Beyond God’s Redemption?

I pondered further. Had I lost anything that God couldn’t work for good? No, Joseph’s story showed that (Genesis 50:20), and I’d already seen some good come from it in that others with similar backgrounds were more open to talk to me about Christ. Had I lost anything of eternal worth? No, heavenly treasures can’t be destroyed or stolen (Matthew 6:19-20). Everything that’s of this earth alone will pass away, so if I haven’t lost anything of eternal worth, then in the long run I haven’t actually lost anything.

A Prayer of Faith

In faith I chose to believe that God could use my mother’s betrayal for good, not just for me, but also for others (2 Corinthians 1:4). I prayed, “God, I trust you to work my mother’s wrongs for good for me, my siblings, and others. Keep the three of us from repeating her sins. Thank you for opening my eyes to know you. Thank you for the ways I’ve already seen you work good from my past.”

The anger finally began to subside.

Yet for this betrayal, I needed one more step. That’s the topic of my next post.

4 sins that take faith to forgive Share on X

How do we take hold of faith to forgive when forgiving is tough? Share on X

It takes faith to forgive betrayal Share on X

Forgive Intentional Sin—Don’t Just Manage Emotions | In this series: 
  1. What Forgiving Isn’t: 5 Stand-ins that Masquerade as Forgiving
  2. Must I Forgive THIS Sin?
  3. What Makes Confessing and Forgiving Inseparable
  4. Four Sins that Require Faith to Forgive
  5. The Ultimate Reason Behind Unforgiveness
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