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6 Bibles, Books and Study Guides for Understanding the Old Testament

In my last post, I offered seven free tools to help you understand the Old Testament. Here I’ll review Bibles, books, and study guides that help with that, too. Some are for those who are new to reading the Bible, and some are for seasoned Bible readers.

I end each review with an excerpt that shows how each explains Isaiah’s promise to King Ahaz to trust God to deliver him, and Ahaz’s refusal (Isaiah 7). That should let you know if the depth is what you’re looking for.

Bibles

If you’ve read the New Testament before and are ready to dive into the Old Testament, these two Bibles will help you understand it.

Review: NIV Zondervan Study Bible

Edited by D. A. Carson

Audience: Thoughtful Christians wanting historical, archaeological, and theological insights

Reading level: college

If you want a Bible with articles, charts, timelines, color photos, book introductions, and notes, this five-pound beauty is the way to go. This is the third edition of the NIV Study Bible that I own, and it’s the best of the three. It includes two dozen articles covering overarching topics such as “The Story of the Bible: How the Good News About Jesus Is Central” and “Prophets and Prophecy.” The introductions to each book are fabulous. (The link above is for leather, but there are less expensive options. I don’t recommend the Kindle version–I purchased that for version 2 and regret it. The pictures are too small and the hyperlinks overlap, making some unworkable.)

This Bible would overwhelm a new Christian. But for the thoughtful Christian wanting depth, this is the Bible to invest in. Here’s an excerpt from the Introduction to Isaiah (1308):

In ch. 7 Isaiah issues King Ahaz a challenge to trust Yahweh, not Assyria’s power. Ahaz refuses the challenge, and much of Judah’s history between that point (734 BC) and the destruction of Sennacherib’s army in 701 BC revolves around the results of Ahaz’s refusal. A burning question unites chs. 7-39: Will Israel trust Yahweh or the surrounding nations? Chs. 7-12 not only give the answer (no) but also give the answer’s implications.

Review: The One Year Chronological Bible NIV

Edited by Steve Benson

Audience: Anyone wanting to read the Old Testament and New Testament chronologically

Reading level: high school

Old Testament in chronological order

The One Year Chronological Bible: New International Version

I read the Bible in chronological chunks fairly often, so I made things easier by buying a chronological Bible. In the table of contents, I color coded the prophets so I could see at a glance how they relate (see figure). I seldom read from this Bible, but I use its table of contents to guide my reading in other Bibles. The editors provide short italicized segues when switching between texts, but not a lot of historical notes. Here’s the transition from histories (2 Kings and 2 Chronicles) to Isaiah 7 (799):

Isaiah encouraged King Ahaz to trust in the Lord when Rezin and Pekah marched against Jerusalem. Through these prophecies of Isaiah, the Lord also gave Ahaz a sign of coming salvation—the coming of the Messiah.

Books

Review: Kingdom of Priests: A History of Old Testament Israel

By Eugene H. Merrill

Audience: Thoughtful Christians wanting to understand Old Testament history

Reading level: graduate

This superb book is my number one recommendation for thoughtful Christians who have read and studied the entire Bible and aren’t put off by academic works. Merrill divides Old Testament history into 15 parts and examines each thoroughly, weaving in historical documents from surrounding nations and archaeological finds. He keeps the overarching purpose of God establishing a kingdom of priests clearly in mind. His analysis of the ministry of the prophets is illuminating.

This is an academic work that carefully examines dating problems and apparent contradictions. His goal for this second edition was “to take on the task of bringing the narrative up to date so that the message of the Old Testament as not only a theological but also a historical work can resonate more clearly and relevantly with a new generation of readers” (11).

The book contains numerous chronological tables and maps, as well as both Scripture and subject indexes. Here’s an excerpt (420):

Ahaz had paid a staggering price for survival not only in monetary terms but especially in the moral and spiritual compromises his bargaining had required. As the Chronicler notes, in the final analysis, Tiglath-pileser gave Ahaz trouble and not help (2 Chron. 28:21). Ahaz had had to loot the temple to pay the heavy protection fees that Tiglath demanded, and as an act of thanksgiving, Ahaz offered sacrifices to the gods of Assyria, whom he credited for his salvation. He also installed their shrines throughout the land. It is little wonder that Isaiah the prophet chastised Ahaz in the bitterest terms and predicted the day when Judah also would come to know the awful Assyrian scourge (Isa. 7:17).

Review: The Story: The Bible as One Continuing Story of God and His People

Selections from the New International Version

Audience: Churches desiring to teach the entire congregation the main story of the Bible and willing to use supplemental supporting material

Reading level: youth and adult versions are available

The Story divides selections of text from the NIV Bible into 31 chapters arranged mostly chronologically. Short italicized segues summarize skipped material and add a few historical notes. Simple timelines begin the book; some use increments of thousands of years, others decades. The back material includes discussion questions and a character list.

Zondervan intended for churches to use The Story as part of Sunday sermons, adult small group studies, youth studies, and children’s materials. They provide DVDs, curriculum to go with the DVDs, and other support materials, including a church resource library. I offer a companion study guide (see below).

The Story highlights a dozen or so kings and includes only five excerpts from Isaiah. It skips King Ahaz and Isaiah 7, so here’s the first transition between histories and Isaiah (224):

The greatest of the writing prophets, Isaiah, began his work in Jerusalem (capital of Judah, the southern kingdom) in 740 BC, shortly before King Uzziah died. Isaiah achieved prominence during Hezekiah’s reign, helping the king to stand-down the Assyrian threat by relying on God alone. Such a strategy must be founded on rock solid faith, and this kind of faith Isaiah clearly practiced and developed. His call to service came in a powerful vision—an apt start to a prophetic vocation that would span nearly 60 years.

Study Guides

The first of these is ideal for new Christians; the second is good for those who have read a bit of the Bible already and are willing to put in 31 weeks of daily study.

Review: Seamless: Understanding the Bible as One Complete Story

By Angie Smith

Audience: Women’s Bible study groups with a mix of new and mature Christians wanting to understand how the Old Testament and New Testament relate

Reading level: high school

The women at my church just finished going through Seamless: Understanding the Bible as One Complete Story, by Angie Smith. It’s terrific, funny, and touching. Those who had never read the Old Testament before felt it made sense of the Bible. Those who have read the Bible many times loved the clarifying way Smith laid out the stories. I had a brand new Christian in my group who had never gone to church until a few months ago, and she kept up fine.

Icons that represent major events adorn the footer and make the story easy to follow and review. The back cover folds out with the icons in order and linked by a thread. My group loved turning to the back cover to review the icons together. In the margins, Smith provides a dozen-word summary of every book of the Bible.

The women loved the book and videos, and they had tons of questions every week (which shows how engaging they found the material, but also shows the need to have someone around to answer questions). Some had trouble following the chronology of Week 4: The Kingdoms & the Prophets, so I recommend supplying a few timelines (feel free to use the ones I provide in 7 Free Tools for Understanding the Old Testament).

Covering the entire Bible in six chapters, Smith broadly summarizes Israel’s history. In this excerpt, she introduces some of the prophets, including Isaiah (104):

Several prophets preached in Judah before and during its destruction: Isaiah, Micah, Nahum, Jeremiah, Habakkuk, and Zephaniah. Isaiah and Micah overlapped our division of times. They lived and preached in Judah both during the Divided Kingdom—the same time as Hosea and Amos—and after the Northern Kingdom was destroyed. See how this all fits together?

Review: The Story Personal Journal and Discovery Guide

By Jean E. Jones

Audience: Thoughtful Christians with some Old Testament understanding who want an in-depth Bible study guide to accompany The Story

Reading level: high school; languages: English & Korean

Free Download here

Picture of 'The Story: Personal Journal & Discussion Guide'

The Story: Personal Journal & Discussion Guide

I wrote this companion to The Story for my church and later updated it for Zondervan’s church resource library. It explains historical details and has ten timelines to keep the events in perspective. Practical application questions apply the Bible’s message to the reader’s life. It’s written so that people can read a chapter in The Story, and then answer questions from their Bible. Headings summarize what’s happening, and there are plenty of footnotes with additional details for those who want them. You can get it free from my website (see the link above) or Zondervan’s church resource library.

This excerpt is on Isaiah approaching King Ahaz:

God sent the prophet Isaiah to encourage Ahaz king of Judah not to be afraid, for he wouldn’t let [the kings of Israel and Aram] overthrow him. He told Ahaz to ask for any sign as proof. But Ahaz refused and instead sought Assyria’s help. He voluntarily became a vassal to Assyria’s king, paid him a large tribute, and set up shrines to Assyria’s gods in Jerusalem.

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7 Free Tools for Understanding the Old Testament

My church’s women’s Bible study just completed Angie Smith’s Seamless: Understanding the Bible as One Complete Story. It was perfect for small groups that have a mix of new believers and mature Christians (more on that next week). Several women told me they’d love to understand the Old Testament even better, especially where the prophetic books fit in with the histories. They also wanted to dive deeper into their understanding of the entire story of the Bible. So I’m offering a two-part series on tools to help you do just that.

Old Testament timeline of Daniel

Timeline: Daniel in Exile 620 to 530 BC

Here I offer

  • A link to a free downloadable Bible outline
  • A link to six timelines to help you understand the Old Testament
  • Tips on using those tools to read the Old Testament chronologically
  • A short explanation of how the Old Testament prophetic books fit with the books of history

Old Testament and New Testament Outline

The Bible’s books are arranged by genre. You need to know a book’s genre to understand what you’re reading. If your Bible’s table of contents doesn’t outline the books for you, go to my Free Resources page and click the link to Subscriber Specials. There you’ll find a downloadable  Bible outline you can use to add headings to your contents page.

Old Testament Outline

Bible Outline

As the Bible Outline shows, the Old Testament books of Joshua through Esther are histories. Reading the histories chronologically gives us a better understanding of what happened. The histories are listed chronologically with three exceptions:

  • Ruth takes place somewhere within Judges.
  • 1,2 Chronicles were written around the time of Ezra and Nehemiah, but they chronicle King David’s reign and the reigns of his descendants.
    • Chapters 1-9 are genealogies starting with Adam. Part of chapter 9 goes with Nehemiah 11.
    • The rest of 1,2 Chronicles goes with 1 Samuel 31 to the end of 2 Kings.
  • Esther goes with Ezra 4:6.

How to Read 1,2 Chronicles Chronologically

Saul, David, and Solomon reigned over all of Israel. After Solomon, the kingdom split into two kingdoms: Israel to the north and Judah to the south. David’s descendants ruled over the south. While 1,2 Kings summarizes the reigns of both kingdoms, 1,2 Chronicles summarizes only the reigns of David and his descendants. Therefore, to read Kings with Chronicles, use two bookmarks. When you finish reading about David, Solomon, and any king of Judah, hop over to Chronicles and read about the same king.

Timelines for Reading the Old Testament Prophets with the Histories

Timelines that show historical events and when the prophets ministered will help you understand what events the prophets were talking about. They’ll also help you coordinate reading the histories and prophetic books together.

How the Prophetic Books are Arranged

The books of the prophets are divided into two groups:

  • The Major Prophets ministered over decades so their books are longer (“major” means long)
  • The Minor Prophets ministered for shorter times so their books are shorter (“minor” means short).

How to Read the Prophetic Books with the Histories

NIV Old Testament timelines

NIV Timeline showing the prophets’ ministries (Zondervan)

To read the prophetic books with the histories, keep timelines at hand. My NIV Zondervan Study Bible has timelines that show key historical events, the kings’ reigns, and the ministries of the major prophets and half the minor prophets. I wrote five additional minor prophets’ names on the timeline approximately where they go (see figure).  Two prophetic books are missing from this timeline: Lamentations, which Jeremiah wrote so it belongs with Jeremiah’s ministry on the timeline, and Joel, whose date is unknown. If your Bible has timelines, use the figure to the right to fill in any missing prophets.

Free Timelines

I often create additional timelines that zoom in on time periods that have a lot of related material. Over on the Free Resources page, click the link for Subscriber Specials to find six timelines I created for The Story: Personal Journal and Discussion Guide  (the guide is there, too). The timelines show you at a glance where the main prophets fit within the histories.

  • 1 Kings Of Israel and Judah 930 to 850 BC
  • 2 The Beginning of the End 750 to 680 BC: The fall of Israel and the prophetic ministries of Amos, Hosea, and Isaiah
  • 3 The Kingdoms Fall 655 to 570 BC: The fall of Judah and the prophetic ministries of Jeremiah, Daniel, and Ezekiel
  • 4 Daniel in Exile 620 to 530 BC: Shows Daniel’s chapters chronologically
  • 5 The Return Home 540 to 470 BC: The return from Exile, Esther, and the prophetic ministries of Daniel, Haggai, and Zechariah
  • 6 Rebuilding the Walls 480 to 430 BC: Esther, rebuilding the walls under Ezra and Nehemiah, and the prophetic ministry of Malachi

Understanding How the Prophetic Books and Histories Relate

The key to understanding how most of the prophets and histories relate is this cycle:

  1. When Moses brought the Israelites to the Promised Land, he warned them that if they ever turned away from God and started committing the sins of the current inhabitants (such as sacrificing children to idols), God would drive them out of the land.
  2. Whenever the people went astray, God sent prophets to call them to repent and return to God lest God drive them out of the land.
  3. Eventually the people quit listening to the prophets, so the prophets’ message changed to one of impending judgment via exile followed by grace; the messages of grace talked about a new King who would one day rule righteously.

The northern kingdom of Israel quit listening to the prophets first, so God sent Assyria to deport them from the land. Later, the southern kingdom of Judah quit listening to the prophets and God sent Babylon to deport them. After 70 years, God allowed the people to return to the land, but they were ruled by foreign powers. There they awaited the new anointed King, the Messiah. The New Testament tells us about him: Jesus Christ.

Tips About the Major Prophets

NIV Zondervan Study Bible with Old Testament Notes

NIV Zondervan Study Bible (affiliate link to Amazon)

Here are a couple helpful points about the major prophets.

  • All the major prophets are from Judah (the southern kingdom)
  • Isaiah prophesied around the time of the fall of Israel (the northern kingdom); the rest prophesied around the time of the fall of Judah
  • Judah’s exile happened in three stages, resulting in 3 prophets speaking from diverse places
    • Daniel went to the Babylonian king’s palace in the first deportation; he served in government and showed God was in charge
    • Ezekiel went to Mesopotamia in the second deportation; ministered to exiles
    • Jeremiah stayed in Jerusalem until the third deportation and Jerusalem’s fall; he helped the people who ignored his warnings mourn
  • Only Ezekiel is chronological

Tips About the Minor Prophets

  • The Minor Prophets are clustered around 3 events:
    • The time leading up to and surrounding Israel’s exile: The first 6 books except Obadiah and perhaps Joel (Joel’s date is unknown)
    • The time leading up to Judah’s exile: Books 7-9 plus Obadiah
    • Between Judah’s restoration and the end of Ezra’s and Nehemiah’s reforms: The last 3 books
  • They tell us a lot about social injustice and what God thinks about the rich and powerful taking advantage of the weak
  • Want to know more? Here’s an article I wrote for Crosswalk: 6 Things Every Christian Should Know About the Minor Prophets

Next week I’ll review Bibles, books, and study guides that are helpful for understanding the Old Testament.

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6 Ways Mentoring Brings the Generations Together

Today guest blogger, Janet Thompson, shares about the importance of mingling generations in both small groups and mentoring relationships. I reviewed her terrific book, Mentoring for all Seasons, last week. Enjoy!

Mentoring for all seasonsMy husband and I met in a small group at Saddleback Church. We’ve been small group leaders since the early days of our marriage. Our first group to lead together was a Gary Smalley Making Love Last Forever couples group. While the couples were all married longer, we were the spiritually and chronologically older couple in the group.

We’ve gone on to lead Parents of Prodigals groups, small groups, couples groups, and Bible studies. Now we live in a rural mountain town, attend a small community church, and lead a couples small group. So we’re firm believers in small groups.

But here are some things I’ve learned about groups:

  1. Someone can get lost in a group. They may be dealing with issues they’re not comfortable talking about in a group so their problems stay hidden; but they’ll be open and vulnerable in a one-on-one mentoring relationship.
  2. There must be a spiritually older and mature Christian in the group, preferably leading.
  3. A group consisting of everyone at the same spiritual level, especially new in their faith or less spiritually mature, may become dissuaded and confused about the truth in the Bible.
  4. If the group is spiritually older Christians, they may not challenge each other to grow in their faith. They need to take their knowledge, wisdom, and experience and join or start a group of spiritually younger believers or seekers. This is biblical and part of God’s plan for the church.

When the young pastor Titus was starting a church plant in Crete and knew he couldn’t run the church by himself, Paul gave him instructions regarding the men and women in the church . . . I like The Message translation. Notice what Paul says is the “job” of every Christian:

Your job is to speak out on the things that make for solid doctrine. Guide older men into lives of temperance, dignity, and wisdom, into healthy faith, love, and endurance. Guide older women into lives of reverence so they end up as neither gossips nor drunks, but models of goodness. By looking at them, the younger women will know how to love their husbands and children, be virtuous and pure, keep a good house, be good wives. We don’t want anyone looking down on God’s Message because of their behavior. Also, guide the young men to live disciplined lives.  

But mostly, show them all this by doing it yourself, incorruptible in your teaching, your words solid and sane. Then anyone who is dead set against us, when he finds nothing weird or misguided, might eventually come around. (Titus 2:1-8 The Message, emphasis added)

These are foundation verses for mentoring and for the first men’s and women’s ministry in the church! Every ministry should have the same mission statement and focus of spiritually older men and women teaching and training the godly life to the spiritually younger in all areas of the church. But over the years, ministry has drifted away from this focus, and sadly, the generations often segregate rather than learning from each other.

To understand the full impact of Titus 2:1-8, we need to read the issues Paul was addressing in the previous verses. It sounds a lot like our world today:

Everything is pure to those whose hearts are pure. But nothing is pure to those who are corrupt and unbelieving, because their minds and consciences are corrupted. Such people claim they know God, but they deny him by the way they live. They are detestable and disobedient, worthless for doing anything good. (Titus 1:15-16 NLT)

Titus 2:1-8 was Paul’s antidote for guiding the next generation of believers to discern between corrupt, detestable, disobedient mistruths of deceivers and the true teachings of obedient followers of Jesus Christ and His Word, the Bible.

6 Ways Mentoring Brings the Generations Together

  1. Recognize that women and men are always experiencing a new life season. How is your men’s and women’s ministry reaching each person in his or her season?

Incorporating an aspect of mentoring into all ministries allows a person who has gone through a life season to mentor those experiencing something similar. We’re always coming out of a season where we can mentor and going into a new one where we need a mentor. Mentors aren’t always chronologically older, but they’re always spiritually older. Maybe not by very much, but they should have more experience walking with the Lord than their mentee.

  1. Every ministry team should include younger and older members. In The Team That Jesus Built, I point out that a healthy, well-balanced team will have members representing:
  • A wide age range
  • All seasons of life
  • Varied personalities
  • Different spiritual gifts
  1. Also in the Team That Jesus Built, I stress the importance of every ministry and team leader mentoring an apprentice. A leader’s responsibility is to develop the next generation of leaders.
  2. Every facet of ministry should include spiritually older mentors—wherever the congregation is meeting. Be careful not to let ministries divide into “identity groups.” For example, a “moms group” should welcome all moms in all stages of motherhood—older, empty nest, stay-at-home, moms-in-waiting, working, adoptive, and grandmothers who can provide wisdom to younger moms.
  3. New believers need to know how to live the Christian life as a man or woman in all life seasons. They need a mentor.
  4. I would be remiss not to include a Mentoring Ministry. Matching a spiritually older mentor who has experienced a life season that the mentee is now experiencing is invaluable, as many of the sixty-five mentors and mentees share in my new book, Mentoring for All Seasons: Sharing Life Experiences and God’s Faithfulness.

Young people are crying out for spiritually older Christians to come alongside them, but they may not know how to ask or find one who will take the time. We must do everything possible to bring the generations together in our churches, not separate them. The older generation should know how much the younger generation needs their wisdom and experience. God wants that “One generation commends your works to another; they tell of your mighty acts” Psalm 145:4.

6 ways mentoring brings generations together by @AHWministries Click To Tweet

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Mentoring for All Seasons: Sharing Life Experiences and God’s Faithfulness is available now on Amazon, Kindle, and Signed by the Author at her website.

Author Bio

Mentoring Janet ThompsonJanet Thompson is an international speaker, freelance editor, and award-winning author of 19 books. Her latest release, Mentoring for All Seasons: Sharing Life Experiences and God’s Faithfulness, is available at all Christian bookstores, online book stores, Amazon, and signed by Janet at her website store, where you can see more of her books.

She is also the author of Forsaken God?: Remembering the Goodness of God Our Culture Has Forgotten; Team That Jesus Built; Dear God, Why Can’t I Have a Baby?; Dear God They Say It’s Cancer; Praying for Your Prodigal Daughter; and Woman to Woman Mentoring: How to Start, Grow, & Maintain a Mentoring Ministry Resources.

She is the founder of Woman to Woman Mentoring and About His Work Ministries.

Visit Janet and sign up for her Monday Morning Blog and online newsletter at womantowomanmentoring.com

You can also visit Janet at:

 

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Review: “Why Do You Believe That?”

Here’s a terrific Bible study guide for women who want to grow better at talking about their faith: Why Do You Believe That? A Faith Conversation.

Image of "Why Do You Believe That?" member book

“Why Do You Believe That? A Faith Conversation” by Mary Jo Sharp

Author Mary Jo Sharp packs six weeks of personal Bible study into 160 pages. She’s sprinkled Confidence Builders throughout that address handling tricky conversations. A helpful leader guide at the book’s back suggests discussion questions and even supplies weekly social media samples. Interspersed within the seven video lectures are eye-opening clips of Mary Jo talking to atheists and former atheists about their conversations with Christians.

When I announced I was leading a women’s apologetics Bible study using this book this summer, so many women signed up I offered two sessions. Women truly felt a need to be better able to give reasons for their faith to their friends, co-workers, and teens. By the end of the study, we felt not only better equipped to answer questions, but that we’d developed better relationship and conversation skills.

Review

Why Do You Believe That?  Study Guide

The personal study guide examines how Jesus handled faith conversations. It addresses conversation conundrums that women regularly face: “All religions teach basically the same thing”; “Religious people believe in spite of evidence”; “Why do you Christians always push your morality on others?” There’s a summary of what different religions teach about Jesus that was a unanimous favorite.

Each weekly personal study section is broken into five daily lessons that average about 35 minutes, except for week two (55) and week three (45). The homework length and topic make the study best for those with prior Bible study experience.

Daily lesson titles and key questions begin each lesson and provide good focus. The material is laid out attractively with teal and gray highlights that are easy to read. Often Mary Jo asks how you would respond to a situation before giving her suggestions. Good trick! We eagerly read on as we imagined ourselves being in that situation.

Chapters begin with a Group page listing questions from the previous week’s homework in case you prefer that over leafing through the pages; these lacked page numbers for looking up one’s responses, however.

Several chapters have sample statements to practice responding to out loud. Practicing in the group was enlightening—you could tell if you sounded sarcastic or timid, and watching someone with a particularly gentle manner gave everyone something to imitate.

In our group discussions, I encouraged the women to first share examples of when they’d actually encountered the situations we were discussing. Hearing real-life stories added lots of excitement and drove home the practicality of what we were studying.

There are a few minor issues, all easy to work around. The questions are not numbered, making it a little more difficult for people to find questions during the discussion, especially those using a digital format. The table of contents lists “Week One,” “Week Two,” etc., but doesn’t give chapter titles, making it impossible to know what the book covers from Amazon’s “Look Inside” feature (not to worry: I list the chapter titles and content at the end of this blog).

Week Two’s daily homework averaged nearly an hour per day, and if I offer the study again, I’ll cover the chapter in two weeks. This is an excellent chapter, but day three’s homework was a bit tricky. The Confidence Builder on the minimal facts defense of the resurrection (p. 39) was apparently edited down to where it doesn’t accurately represent the argument. This made it difficult for women to answer the question about it. This was easy to get around, though. I gave the group members a Minimal Facts handout that not only quoted the minimal facts, but had a hyperlink to an example of how apologist Clay Jones uses them in faith conversations: http://www.clayjones.net/2010/09/my-200-word-resurrection-witness/.

Videos

Everyone loved the seven session videos. They’re clear, well taught, and visually exciting. Rather than the typical lecture-only videos, Mary Jo’s lectures are nicely interspersed with vignettes of her talking to atheists and former atheists, and of her answering her editor’s questions. Scripture references and answers for the video guides stay on the screen long enough to write down. Graphics are top-notch. Most session videos are twenty to thirty minutes, except for the last which is nine minutes. The videos are designed to be shown at the end of a session since they introduce the following week’s homework. They’re available on DVD in the separately sold Leader Kit or by download.

Leader Guide

The leader guide at the back of member books is exceptional. It has promotion ideas; suggestions for weekly Facebook, Twitter, and email announcements; proposed discussion questions with page numbers (these differ somewhat from the discussion guides); and optional session exercises.

Conclusion

Why Do You Believe That? is an excellent Bible study for women with previous Bible study experience. I will probably offer it again, splitting Session Two into two parts and teaching on the minimal facts approach to explaining the evidence for the resurrection. In all, the lessons engendered lots of excitement because they talked about issues Christian women regularly face.

Go to top

Chapter Summaries for “Why Do You Believe That?” Member Book

Week One: Introducing Apologetics

What is apologetics, why do we need it, and how can we use it in a godly, loving manner?

Week Two: Knowing Your Beliefs

A very basic introduction to apologetic topics: Jesus is the only way; Jesus is different in different religions; Jesus’ resurrection is foundational to Christianity; Jesus uses good reasoning; Jesus’ story has been reliably transmitted.

Week Three: Listening to Others

How to develop good listening skills and an introduction to fallacies. (Click here for my Session 3 Practice Responses handout, which you are free to use and distribute.)

Week Four: Questioning Others

Asking questions as an essential communication skill (my favorite chapter!).

Week Five: Responding to Others

Tips on how to respond to errors, recognize conversation stoppers, deal with the sawed-off shotgun approach, and reply when time is short.

Week Six: Roadblocks

Dealing with our own roadblocks; others’ intellectual and emotional roadblocks; feeling inexperienced.

Week Seven:  Wrap-up & Challenge

Video guide for the last session, which is a challenge to get out and talk about faith.

Women looking for a small group Bible study should definitely consider Why Do You Believe That? It’ll build skills and confidence in having faith conversations in ways new to most women.

Sharp, Mary Jo. 2012. Why Do You Believe That? A Faith Conversation. Nashville: Lifeway. Available from LifeWay and Amazon.

Related:

Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

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“Why Do You Believe That?” Bible Study

Image of "Why Do You Believe That?" member book

“Why Do You Believe That? A Faith Conversation” by Mary Jo Sharp

EDIT 9/1/14: See my blog, “Review: ‘Why Do You Believe That?’“

EDIT 6/19: We ran out of room on Thursday mornings so we’re offering a second session Thursday evenings beginning 6/26!

How confident do you feel in talking about matters of faith? Do you wish you could express your beliefs with more effectiveness? Join us in a practical seven-session study to gain understanding and skill in sharing Jesus effectively with others, and in better understanding your own faith. Answer your doubts. Build your confidence. Start changing lives.

The learning begins Thursday, June 19. This is apologetics for women! No experience necessary. We’ll have engaging videos, lively discussions, and confidence-building at-home lessons.

The Details
How to Join
FAQ
More on Mary Jo Sharp
Calendar
Promos, sample chapter, sample video (opens in new window)

The Details

Morning Session

  • Dates: Thursday mornings, June 19 to August 14 (skipping July 10 & 17)
  • Time: 9:30 a.m. to 11:30 a.m.
  • Where: 26572 Paseo Callado, San Juan Capistrano, CA
  • Materials: Why Do You Believe That? A Faith Conversation member guide by Mary Jo Sharp (see below for links)
  • Facilitator: Yours truly

Evening Session

  • Dates: Thursday evenings, June 26 to August 28 (skipping July 10, July 17 and August 21)
  • Time: 7:00 p.m. to 9:00 p.m.
  • Where: 32191 Via Los Coyotes, San Juan Capistrano, CA
  • Materials: Why Do You Believe That? A Faith Conversation member guide by Mary Jo Sharp (see below for links)
  • Facilitator: Me again

How to Join

  • Sign up by telling me you’re coming by commenting below or emailing me at jeanejonesblog (at) cox.net
  • Get Why Do You Believe That? A Faith Conversation (Member Book) and bring to first meeting; some options:

FAQ

Do I need to complete any assignments before the first meeting?

Nope. You can read the introduction if you like.

How long will the at-home lessons take?

There are five daily lessons per week that should take about 15 to 30 minutes each.

Can I still come even if I don’t complete the at-home lesson?

Absolutely! You’ll get the most out of the study if you complete the lessons, but you’ll still learn a lot from the discussion and video.

Do I need to sign up?

Yes, we’re meeting at a private home and you’ll need some details I can’t post here. Plus, I need a head count!

More on Mary Jo Sharp

Mary Jo Sharp’s blog has lots of tips on confidently sharing faith–check it out. She’s a former atheist who now has a Master of Apologetics from Biola University (yep, one of Clay’s prior students) and is a Certified Apologetics Instructor. She teaches at Houston Baptist University and Summit Ministries, and she debates formally.

Calendar

Date Morning Evening
6/19 Session 1 —
6/26 Session 2 Session 1
7/3 Session 3 Session 2
7/10 — —
7/17 — —
7/24 Session 4 Session 3
7/31 Session 5 Session 4
8/7 Session 6 Session 5
8/14 Session 7 Session 6
8/21 — —
8/28 — Session 7
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Don’t Judge Me Because I’m Childless

By Jean E. Jones

Is there a place at church for those of us who don’t have kids?

January 7, 2014 | Today’s Christian Woman

Recently, a woman asked, “My husband and I are childless. How do you cope with the feelings of rejection and of being a minority in the church community?” Both she and I are unable to have children, and her question brought back memories: the hurt as friends with babies bundled in blankets pulled away, the struggle to fit in at church, and the hurdles of gracefully handling ignorant and hurtful comments.

Childlessness is a growing church issue: The number of women who will never bear children has doubled in the last 30 years from 1 in 10 to almost 1 in 5 (Pew Research). In 1976, the number of childless women ages 40–44 (considered the end of childbearing years) was 580,000; by 2008, it had more than tripled to 1.9 million.

What’s causing this rise in childlessness?

ChildlessFirst, Americans are delaying marriage until they’ve achieved educational goals and financial stability. The median age for women’s first marriage is now 27, and more than half of women age 25 to 29 have never married, says the 2013 report Knot Yet: The Benefits and Costs of Delayed Marriage in America. Delaying marriage leaves fewer childbearing years in which to find a suitable husband. It also decreases a woman’s chance of having a successful pregnancy.

But the bigger reason is that more women are choosing not to have children: Among women ages 40–44, the number of voluntarily childless now equals the number who wanted children but couldn’t have them.

In TIME Magazine’s recent cover article “None Is Enough,” Lauren Sandler cites many reasons for the surge in opting to be child-free. Some non-moms say they don’t want the “bone-tired” lifestyle their mothers had “doing it all,” or never felt they were “mother material.” The financial costs in raising a child are formidable, and leaving the career track for a mommy track can cost “$1 million in lost salary, lost promotions and so on.” Women who delay marriage may develop enjoyable lifestyles they’re reluctant to give up. Society’s portrayal of all it takes to be a great mom seems unrealistic.

Whether being without offspring is voluntary or not, the biggest stress the childless face is isolation as “friends just peel off into their small domestic worlds,” Lauren says. The late 30s and early 40s are the loneliest because friends are parents, but not empty nesters.

Another strain is being judged harshly. Others assume lack of progeny is by choice, and that that choice is selfish. In the 2008 movie The Women, Sylvie (Annette Bening) says to Mary (Meg Ryan): “Do you know that’s the last impermissible thing you can say at a dinner party? That you don’t want children?” The childless feel scolded in a culture that mandates motherhood, says TIME. Unintentionally illustrating the point, Fox & Friends host Tucker Carlson responded to TIME with, “But having children means less time for vacations and spin class, where the real meaning in life resides, right? I mean, have you ever seen anything more selfish, decadent and stupid?”

Problems don’t stop at the church door. Lauren Sandler says that for some, the church community seems so “oppressively family-centric,” they abandon it.

At church as elsewhere, moms naturally seek out other moms as they look for friends not just for themselves, but for their children. Church groups for couples, singles, and women in their 30s and 40s consist almost entirely of parents who gravitate to each other to chat about potty training, children’s soccer, and teenage angst. The childless feel sidelined.

Criticisms take a spiritual edge with some arguing that procreation is God’s command, not just his blessing. Too many pronounce infertility a sign of divine disfavor, leaving women reticent to admit their situation. Controversies over the morality of fertility options make discussions seem like minefields. The result: Church feels unsafe.

Click here to read Jean’s “The Journey of Childlessness” on TodaysChristianWoman.com

But all this can be changed. Here are ways those with children can help those without feel included in the church community instead of isolated, and accepted instead of criticized.

Create opportunities for diverse friendships.

Rather than getting together with just moms your age, reach out to the childless woman. Invite her to coffee and share about your lives. Plan get-togethers that women in different life stages can enjoy and that will naturally engender conversations about more than just children: For instance, tea in an antique district gives lots to talk about. Make sure the conversation includes everyone.

Help your childless friend find a small group with a mix of ages.

Diverse groups have diverse conversations, so help your childless friend find a small group or a volunteer ministry that has women of different ages. Even better, invite her to join you in one.

Mingle families.

Invite childless couples to meals with your family and encourage your children to interact—we are incredibly grateful to the families that did this for us. If a childless couple invites you and your husband to dine at their house sans kids, if you can manage a babysitter, do get one. Their cabinets don’t have safety latches, they leave vases within toddler reach, and they could be clueless about kid-friendly menus. Go, relax, and enjoy the uninterrupted adult conversation you always say you miss.

Don’t ask why she doesn’t have children.

When someone says she doesn’t have children, don’t ask, “Why not?” It’s too personal (“Well, you see, my ovaries …”). The topic may be painful, and she wants to avoid judgment. Besides, the question emphasizes the fact she’s different. Instead, move the conversation to uncover other interesting things about her, such as her hobbies and skills.

Be a compassionate listener rather than a “fixer.”

If she shares with you why she’s childless, don’t try to fix her. If she’s struggling with infertility, listen compassionately and offer to pray, but don’t press special supplements, the “right” doctor, or the “right” way to pray.

Make Mother’s Day more comfortable.

Church on Mother’s Day can feel like an obstacle course for the childless, but you can make it more comfortable. Don’t ask women “Are you a mother?” If you don’t know them well enough to know the answer, you don’t know them well enough to ask. Don’t avoid the childless—talk to them about their week like you would any other Sunday. Don’t tell them to stand up with all the other moms because aunts and spiritual moms count too: That embarrasses her and suggests that women are less valuable if they’re not mothers.

Avoid claiming parenthood is a prerequisite to knowing love.

Comments such as “You can’t know God’s love until you have children,” and, “You don’t know how to love until you have children,” imply adults without kids can’t attain the spiritual heights of parents. Yet the childless apostle Paul knew love well enough to write 1 Corinthians 13. While God does use parenthood to teach these things, it’s not his only method. A better approach is to say, “I learned so much about God’s love for me when I had a child.”

Don’t guess God’s reasons for allowing infertility.

I’ve been told my miscarriages were due to God knowing I’d make a terrible mother and to my lacking proper faith. Ouch. Presuming to know God’s reasons for allowing infertility is like Job’s friends presuming to know why misfortune befell Job. Some such judgments are obviously untrue: Abusive mothers have children, and women who can’t bear children go on to adopt and prove to be wonderful mothers. Other judgments can’t be proven or disproven, and just drive women away. Yet remaining faithful to God through deep disappointment is one way we show faith. Show your compassion and care without guessing God’s reasons by saying, “I’m so sorry—that must be difficult for you.”

Avoid elevating child-raising to God’s highest call.

Saying that God’s highest calling for a woman is bearing or raising children tells the childless that God has a lesser call for them than for other women. Jesus said we’re to seek God’s kingdom and righteousness first (Matthew 6:33). You might say instead, “At this time in my life, my main ministry is raising my children to follow God.”

Saying that God’s highest calling for a woman is bearing or raising children tells the childless that God has a lesser call for them than for other women.

Encourage her that life can be fulfilling without children.

Jesus didn’t limit his promise of an abundant life to parents, and the Bible tells us to seek our ultimate fulfillment in God, not children (John 4:14). When a woman told Jesus his mother was blessed for having borne him, he replied, “Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and keep it,” thus elevating knowing and obeying God’s word higher than childbearing (Luke 11:27–28). The apostle Paul wished all could be unmarried and thus childless like he so they could devote themselves to being holy in body and spirit rather than having their interests divided by family (1 Corinthians 7:7, 34).

Childless women can have a full and abundant life in Jesus. Following these tips can go a long way in helping her to not just cope in the church, but to thrive.

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Encouraging More Talk in Quiet Discussion Groups

A small group leader asks: “My discussion group is quiet, and I seem to be doing most of the talking. The group members complete a workbook at home, but they’re not sharing their answers much. Do you have any ideas about how to encourage more discussion?”

Encouraging More Talk in Discussion Groups

A reminder to ask my group to summarize a passage appears in the upper right of my workbook

This is a question I’ve spent a lot of time praying about over the years! Here are twelve tips that have helped me draw quiet people out more so that everyone feels enriched by the discussion and group members help each other grow.

Before the Group

Pray for the discussion

Before the meeting, I pray that the group members will learn from God’s word, share openly and honestly, feel safe, and help each other grow. I also pray for the Holy Spirit’s presence, wisdom, and guidance.

During the Meeting

Ask quietest people to read

I mark Scripture passages and quotations in my study guide that I want read during the meeting. I ask the quietest people to read them. Often hearing their own voice is enough to prime the pump and get the words flowing. Even if not, it helps them feel like they’re participating.

Replace summaries with leading questions

When a lesson covers a Bible passage too long to read, I don’t summarize it myself. Instead, I ask the group to summarize the passage. If no one volunteers immediately, I ask leading questions until I’ve drawn out all pertinent facts. “This lesson had us read the story of Moses sending the explorers into the Promised Land; who would like to summarize what happened? … What did Moses ask them to do? … When they returned, what did Joshua and Caleb say? … How did that differ from what the other ten spies said?”

Make silence your friend

Quiet people wait for silence before talking, so you need to provide silent pauses. I ask a question and then smile as I look around the group expectantly. I let the silence encourage talking. If I see hesitation in someone’s face, I nod encouragingly. If the silence continues, I ask, “Who has thoughts on this?”—which suggests partial answers are fine and usually draws responses.

If, however, there’s more silence, I rephrase the question, perhaps breaking it into simpler parts. The original question may have been too hard or may have been worded unclearly, so if needed, I’ll ask leading questions until the group understands the question and comes to answers that satisfy them.

Say when a discussion question has no wrong answers

Opinion and personal questions usually have no wrong answers. Saying, “There are no wrong answers on this question, so what are your thoughts?” gives people the freedom to express their opinion without fear of judgment and encourages those who hold strong opinions to keep their tone soft. This builds acceptance of differences in non-essentials,  makes the group members feel sharing is safe, and encourages more talk.

Give everyone who wants to a chance to share

On questions with multiple answers, I make sure everyone who wants to share has a chance by looking back and forth between those who haven’t answered yet and asking, “Does anyone have more to add?” Making sure everyone participates who wants to lets group members know their input is valuable and encourages more sharing.

Affirm answers

Thanking people as they share and especially affirming open, insightful answers encourages more sharing. If I hear several thoughtful answers in a row, I’ll tell the group: “You’re giving great answers! Who else has something to share?” That helps everyone feel sharing is safe.

During the meeting, when I get to a question that was hard to answer, I say something like, “I had to come back to this question and really think.” This models what I hope they will do at home and encourages group members to spend time reflecting on answers so they’ll have more to share.

I seldom correct mistakes; correct answers usually come out as the discussion continues. If someone obviously misinterprets a question, I might say, “You know, I understood the question a little differently. Did anyone interpret this question another way?” (Since that’s the same thing I say if a question has multiple interpretations, no one feels corrected.)

Ask group members to share one answer each on list questions

For questions that ask for a list of answers, I ask people to share one answer each until everyone has shared.

Don’t answer non-personal questions yourself, or answer last

On fact questions or discussion questions that aren’t personal, I try to draw out all the answers from the group. If I have anything to add, I answer last.

Answer first on personal discussion questions

For personal questions I answer first to set the example of openness and brevity. I’m honest and open about my shortcomings and struggles, and this helps others to feel safe enough to do likewise. Small group members are seldom more transparent than the group leader, so this encourages open sharing.

(If I have a talkative, transparent group, though, I’ll answer first at the beginning of the discussion to set the example of how long to talk, then I switch to answering last.)

After the Group Meeting

Affirm transparency

People often second-guess sharing intimately and worry that their openness will lead to others thinking poorly of them. I call or email those who show vulnerability, expressing thanks for their transparency and assuring them that their openness will help the other group members grow and feel safe enough to share openly too.

Ask the reason for quietness during discussion

If someone talked little, I’ll privately ask, “I noticed you didn’t share much. Was there something going on?” Here are common replies and how I usually respond:

“I had a fight with my husband and was in a funk.”

People distracted by worry are always grateful for a listening ear and heartfelt prayer. And they’re so glad you asked what was happening. They’ll feel loved and accepted, essential to open sharing.

“I didn’t get my homework done.”

I assure people who didn’t finish their lessons that I’m glad they came anyway, and to always feel free on the personal questions to listen to the other answers to get their gist and then jump in with their thoughts.

“I’m new to the Bible and don’t want to look stupid.”

I tell them I’m glad they’re there and assure them everyone has felt that way at some point and can relate. In future meetings, I include some simple fact questions and look to them to answer first (without being obvious) so their confidence builds. I call a couple days before future meetings and ask if they have any questions about the homework.

***

If you’re a small group leader, what are  ways you’ve successfully encouraged more talk in quiet groups?

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How to Choose Discussion Questions

Choose discussion questions for small groups

A small group in the midst of discussion

Last week a small group Bible study leader asked me how I choose discussion questions from workbooks. These workbooks typically have chapters with five or six daily lessons that group members complete at home and plan to discuss when they meet.

You can’t ask all the questions: there isn’t time. But it’s essential to get through all the daily lessons, or those who finished their lessons will be frustrated they didn’t get to share all they learned. Additionally, people will start completing only the number of lessons they know you’ll cover and will thus miss out on important material.

So here I’ll share the steps I take to choose discussion questions that help me cover the most important questions in the allotted time.

Choose discussion questions and highlight them

I highlight only the portion of the question I’ll read aloud. Notice the faint “10” to the left of the question.

I finish the entire chapter early in the week. The day before the meeting, I grab my workbook, pencil, pen, and pink and green fluorescent highlighters. I might use blue instead of green, but never yellow (too pale to see) or purple (hard to read through). I use pink to highlight questions I want to be sure to cover, and green for optional questions I’ll ask only if there’s time.

I read through the material again carefully, doing the following as I go:

  1. Decide each question’s potential for discussing:
    • Essential: Practical application questions; questions whose answer explains the main point
    • Helpful: Questions that support the main lesson, but aren’t essential to understanding it; redundant questions
    • Unnecessary for discussion: Questions that provide background so you can answer essential questions; review questions (“What did we learn yesterday about this?”); deeply private reflection questions; most questions whose answer is a prayer
  2. Pencil in estimated minutes to discuss. I write a rough estimate of the time the question will take to discuss to the left of the question number. I ignore unnecessary questions and I put parentheses around the times of the least important helpful questions. Here are the estimates I use:
    • ½: Fact questions that can be answered by one person (“What does Titus 3:2 say?”)
    • 2: Fact questions that ask for lists (“What are the promises in this passage?”)
    • 5: Non-personal discussion questions (“Why do people find this hard to do?”)
    • 10: Personal discussion questions (“Do you find this hard to do? Why or why not?”)
    • 5: Private discussion questions that not everyone will want to answer (“With what idol do you struggle most?”)
  3. Highlight essential questions. I highlight in pink a couple discussion questions and any number of essential fact questions per daily lesson. I highlight only the portion of the question I want to read aloud, not parenthetical explanations. If the question needs a segue, I write it in pen and highlight that too. If a daily lesson is short on essential discussion questions, I might promote one or two helpful questions to essential status.
  4. Tally the minutes needed per daily lesson. I jot down the total minutes needed to cover the essential questions highlighted in each daily lesson.
  5. Tally the chapter minutes and adjust. I add the daily lesson minutes needed together and subtract the total from the time allotted for discussion. If it’s very short, I highlight another question or two in pink till I’m within ten or fifteen minutes. Then I spread the remaining difference among the daily lesson minutes. For instance, if my daily lesson estimates are 18+6+11+17+13=65 and I have 75 minutes for discussion, the difference of ten minutes I’d spread like this: 20+7+13+20+15=75.
  6. Write beginning and ending times on first page of daily lessons. At the top of the first page for the first daily lesson, I write the time period I want to spend on that lesson. For instance, if the discussion starts at 9:30 and I’ve allotted 20 minutes for the first lesson, I write “9:30-9:50.” I repeat for all the daily lessons.
  7. Highlight optional questions. I scan the un-highlighted questions with times next to them and choose the most helpful. I highlight them with the green highlighter; these will be optional questions I’ll ask only if there’s time. I choose at least two per daily lesson.
When you choose discussion questions, add segues

A segue from the previous paragraph is added to the discussion question

Now when I get to the meeting, I ask or skip optional questions so I finish each daily lesson close to the ending time I wrote down for it. The group members are satisfied they got to share what they learned, everyone is blessed by each other’s answers, and those who might not have finished their lessons see the benefits of doing so and are encouraged to do more the following week.

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‘The Story’ Guide Book Finished!

I’ve finished The Story: Personal Journal & Discussion Guide and you can get it free on the Subscriber Specials page, which you can access here! This guidebook takes you through the overall grand themes of the Bible from Genesis to Revelation. It accompanies Zondervan’s The Story, which groups Bible excerpts into thirty-one chapters. The Personal Journal & Discussion Guide adds questions that help you apply the concepts you’re learning to your life and that stimulate robust discussions. It explains history and adds charts to help you grasp the big ideas more easily.

Picture of 'The Story: Personal Journal & Discussion Guide'

The Story: Personal Journal & Discussion Guide

Shelley Leith, National Church Coach and Story Specialist at Zondervan, called this guide “a phenomenal, high-engagement tool”! Cool, huh?

Nearly 200 women in my church started going through The Story with simple discussion questions when we realized we needed more in-depth questions that would help everyone apply the passages they were reading to their everyday lives and that would provide more explanation for those who wanted it. So I wrote this discussion guide for them. Our women’s ministry director, Lori Marshall, sent a couple lessons off to Zondervan, and now Zondervan is adding them to their free online resource library.

Acknowledgements

I owe a quite a few people some great big thanks.

Thank you first of all to my wonderful husband, Clay, who is always my first reader and offers invaluable insights (it helps that he holds a doctor of ministry degree from Trinity Evangelical Divinity School and is a full-time professor in the Master of Arts in Christian apologetics program at Biola University). He also did everything he could to free my time when I was in a crunch.

Thank you, Lori Marshall, for entrusting this project to me, and for the encouragement, insights, and kind notes you gave along the way.

Thank you to all the other readers who advised and proofed: Lori Marshall, Holly Robaina, Donna Jones, and Kerrie Parlett. Thank you, too, to Cathryn Wade who is a joy to work with and who kept everything updated and posted at Crossline. Thank you, Angie Wright, who suggested creating discussion pages so people like she who do the lessons as a personal journal would have a place to interact. Thank you as well to our awesome women’s prayer team led by Gerri Donnelly—I so appreciated your prayers!

Thank you to the nearly 200 women who tested lessons 8 to 31 and gave such wonderful encouragement and support. Also, thank you to the women in my smaller summer Bible study group who tested the first seven lessons for me (they attend seven different churches so their perspectives were great).

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“Seek” Book Recommendation

‘Seek’ ~ A new book by Donna Jones

I’ve started many seeker and new believer Bible studies over the years, and this is the book I wish I’d had: Seek: A woman’s guide to meeting God. Too often I’ve used books that lost women in the first two weeks as theological terms bounced about causing more confusion than clarity.

That isn’t the case with Seek: A Woman’s Guide to Meeting God (affiliate link).
.

I had the privilege of reading a few chapters before publication, and I felt immediately as if I were sitting down with a hot mug of Earl Grey talking to a dear friend. Okay, the author, Donna Jones, is such a friend. But it was the warm, endearing tone that pulled me in. The book is filled with delightful stories that illustrate spiritual concepts in ways that just make sense—that make you go “Aha!” And each chapter ends with questions ideal for discussion groups.

Look at the way she begins explaining trusting in false beliefs:

In second grade I read a book that, quite frankly, no child with my personality traits should have been allowed to read. Though I can’t recall the title, the book was filled with sure-fire ways to win party games, including one game my friends inevitably played at birthday parties—Pin the Tail on the Donkey. While this handy manual conceded no fool proof way to win Pin the Tail on the Donkey existed apart from cheating, it did, however, outline a little known rule: A secondary prize should always be given to the child whose tail is furthest away from the donkey, in addition to the first place prize awarded to the child whose tail is closest. My eyes widened and my heart beat wildly as my seven-year-old mind unraveled the implications of discovering this life-altering revelation. I would never go home empty handed from a party again!

Donna is a long-time Bible teacher who knows what questions women have and is skilled in answering them. I’ve listened to Donna teach for the past five years and love her humor and down-to-earth explanations that engage seekers, new believers, and long-time Christians alike.

So if you

  • want a book for a neighborhood Bible study
  • need materials for teaching Bible essentials to your church’s women
  • have a seeker friend who might read a warm, inviting, non-intimidating book
  • have always wanted a clear explanation of Christian essentials

…then check out Seek: A Woman’s Guide to Meeting God (affiliate link).for details.

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Jesus & the Timid Woman

What can we learn from Jesus about making people feel valued, especially in small groups? Plenty—especially from the way he treated a woman too shy to speak to him.

She wasn’t ready to open up

Jesus was on his way to heal the daughter of an important man, Jairus. Jairus was a synagogue ruler, while this woman hiding in the crowd hadn’t been to synagogue in twelve years. She couldn’t—not with this bleeding problem that made her “unclean.” Any place she sat became unclean too, so she didn’t get out much.

She couldn’t get up the nerve to talk to Jesus. After all, who would be interested in a penniless woman who wasn’t the daughter of anyone special?

The crowd pressed all around him. She really shouldn’t have been there in her state, but she longed for healing. She’d been ostracized for so long. She needn’t bother him, after all: she’d just slip in from behind, touch his cloak—that’s all it would take, she was sure—and then disappear among the multitude. No one would notice.

But someone did.

Jesus felt power going out of him and knew someone had touched him and been healed, someone who wouldn’t venture to ask for healing. But healing her physically wasn’t enough. He turned and called out, “Who touched my clothes?”

She didn’t answer. Perhaps she froze in confusion, thoughts racing through her mind. Will he be angry I touched him when I’m unclean? Jairus and all the important people must be furious at this delay! What will everyone think if I speak up?

Talkative people exuberantly move from one subject to another

Not hearing an immediate answer, Jesus’ disciples wanted to move on. But Jesus didn’t. He kept looking around.

She finally spoke up, shaking with fear. She may have stumbled over her words, felt the warmth of a blush on her face, winced as it turned to red-hot burning.

Jesus listened to the whole story: she had bled for twelve long years and spent all her money on doctors, but only gotten worse. When she heard Jesus was near, she thought if she could just touch his clothes, she could be free without bothering him. She had touched his cloak and felt healed immediately.

Jesus gave her his full attention, as if he thought her words important. This made the crowds acknowledge her and give her their full attention too. Everyone is looking at me! She glanced up and saw gentle eyes, eyes that bade her talk. And a kind smile that told her all was well. She locked her eyes on his.

People blossom when they feel valued & accepted

After Jesus listened, he called her “daughter”! Yes, “daughter.” She who hadn’t been the daughter of someone important like a synagogue ruler, was now being called daughter by this great man. What did it mean?

He said her faith had healed her and to go in peace. So he wasn’t mad. No, he was pleased she had approached him. She, a woman of no consequence who dared but touch his garment unnoticed, had been noticed, healed, and freed.

She smiled shyly and looked around. She saw compassion in the faces of tenderhearted people. She hadn’t expected this.

“Be freed from your suffering,” he said. Yes, she was free. She knew it!  Free not just from sickness, but from feeling alone, forgotten, and inconsequential.

***

If you’re not shy:

  • You can look around—like Jesus did—to find that man standing alone at church and the woman sitting quietly at a gathering.
  • Draw others out and listen to their stories.
  • Let others know they’re family and they’re valued.

If you’re shy:

  • Take heart from Jesus’ tenderness towards the timid woman.
  • The thoughtful statements of the more quiet are often insightful, so go ahead, take courage, and speak.
  • Know that shyness makes you no less valuable: a family needs members with all kinds of gifts, including the quiet gifts.
  • Go in peace, for you matter greatly to Jesus.

If you’re a small group leader:

  • You can imitate Jesus by looking around for the quiet people who take a little longer to speak up and encouraging them with a smile.
  • Help the talkative people not rush ahead when there’s a pause; show you’re not afraid of silence so they won’t be either.
  • Give those sharing your full attention—that shows you value both them and what they have to say; it also encourages others to do the same.
  • Treat all like family—after all, that’s what they are.
  • When people share something self-disclosing, let them know later privately how appreciative you are and how their courage will help others—it will give them peace and free them from the second guessing that all but the most self-assured feel.

At once Jesus realized that power had gone out from him. He turned around in the crowd and asked, “Who touched my clothes?” “You see the people crowding against you,” his disciples answered, “and yet you can ask, ‘Who touched me?’“ But Jesus kept looking around to see who had done it. Then the woman, knowing what had happened to her, came and fell at his feet and, trembling with fear, told him the whole truth. He said to her, “Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering.” ~Mark 5:30-34 

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