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How to Safely Meet

Fall Bible studies would normally start this month, but many areas are still under quarantine. So I asked readers what they’re doing to safely meet, and received back some innovative ideas! Thankfully, some report that quarantines have lifted in their areas and they are back to meeting, though with adjustments. That’s good news since God created us for fellowship.

But that’s not the case for all, so I’m making changes to how I post the videos—see the announcements at the end.

As you consider your upcoming Bible studies, here are ideas to safely meet, beginning with tips for meeting online.

Safely Meet Online

Safely meet via Zoom
Barbara Brittain Elliott’s group

Many groups turned to online meetings using tools such as Zoom. In fact, several readers reported that Zoom meetings allowed out-of-town relatives and friends to join their local studies.

Lori C. began leading her group via Zoom in March. She writes, “We all repeatedly commented on the absolute perfect timing of that study [Discovering Joy in Philippians]. Great reminders that we don’t have it so bad as Paul, even though we may feel like we’re in a prison of sorts!” The photo is of Barbara Brittain Elliott’s Zoom meeting; she writes, “Here’s our group from New Braunfels, TX, meeting on Zoom and showing off our coloring!”

Marie T. also turned to Zoom, taking advantage of that platform to invite me to join with her group one week and answer questions. What a blessing for me!

Here are some tips I’ve learned about Zoom in the last few months.

Zoom Tips

Safely meet Pam Farrel
Pam Farrel teaches online
  • Take time to practice one-on-one with those who are less technically savvy
  • To limit audio feedback, ask everyone to wear headphones or earbuds
  • Never post the Zoom link on social media lest people who want to disrupt join
  • In your weekly reminder email, include the Zoom link (and the link to the video if you’re using it)
  • Email the Zoom and video links again fifteen minutes before the meeting so no one is late because they’re searching for a lost email
  • If you’re using the videos, either (a) ask everyone to watch the video ahead of time;  or (b after your Zoom meeting starts, ask everyone to switch over to the video and return to Zoom when they’ve finished
  • If you’re using the free version of Zoom, your meeting will be limited to 40 minutes, but everyone can rejoin for a second meeting, apparently using the same link

Safely Meet Outside in Socially Distanced Groups of 10

Whether it’s meeting in the church parking lot, a community park, or a large yard, some readers have found innovative ways to keep six feet apart so they can safely meet.

Lynne A. meets in a neighborhood park near her church, safely distanced. Lynne says they hope to draw attention to Jesus in the neighborhood.

Melissa T. has everyone bring their own beach chair and drinks to meet on her large driveway. Moshelle C.’s group enters a backyard through a side gate. They use the chairs the hostess sets out.

Inge S. limits her study to ten women, which is what her state allows. She says, “I felt since many would not be traveling as usual, and I am one of those that do best with regular meetings and accountability, it would be helpful to have something.” Her group meets in the church parking lot when the weather’s good. She kindly offered these tips.

Inge’s Tips

  • In her weekly email, Inge reminds everyone to wear a mask and to speak more loudly than they would indoors
  • Inge brings extra masks, a box of tissues, gloves, measuring tape, and disinfecting wipes
  • They place the chairs in a circle six feet apart
  • The women wear masks until everyone is seated; then most remove them
  • They lift their heads in prayer so everyone can hear and agree in prayer
  • After the meeting, they wipe down the chairs, door handles, and surfaces anyone has touched

Safely Meet Indoor in Socially Distanced Groups

Safely meet pre-quarantine
2019 meetings were different.
We skipped my annual lunch with Biola women in 2020.

No, the photograph is not from this year. I had to forego my annual luncheon with women in the Biola apologetics program this year because Biola canceled onsite classes. But here are ways others made meetings work.

Both Catherine K. and Marie T. have found rooms large enough for their groups to meet sitting six feet apart. Marie has continued a Zoom group for those who aren’t ready to meet in person yet. My own church is hoping to switch from Zoom to setting up circles of groups in the sanctuary.

Brenda M. teaches math and Bible to a homeschool group of high school boys and girls. She uses our studies for the Bible portion! She’s able to meet in a place where desks can be six feet apart.

Conclusion

There you have it: Tips to safely meet. Please tell us how you’re safely meeting in the comments!

Announcements

Since many groups cannot yet meet in person, I’m in the process of making all my videos available on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCRyshinDpD3kIv5y_tdxUtg. No passwords are needed. Feel free to forward this link those in your studies.

I plan to re-record some of the Discovering Joy in Philippians videos now that I know a little more about how to do it.  (I thank God for all the people who have given me much needed advice!) And I plan to start recording videos for Discovering Hope in the Psalms in just a few weeks, posting them every two weeks. I’ll let you know when they’re ready.

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Bible Studies to Consider

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6 Ways Mentoring Brings the Generations Together

Today guest blogger, Janet Thompson, shares about the importance of mingling generations in both small groups and mentoring relationships. I reviewed her terrific book, Mentoring for all Seasons, last week. Enjoy!

Mentoring for all seasonsMy husband and I met in a small group at Saddleback Church. We’ve been small group leaders since the early days of our marriage. Our first group to lead together was a Gary Smalley Making Love Last Forever couples group. While the couples were all married longer, we were the spiritually and chronologically older couple in the group.

We’ve gone on to lead Parents of Prodigals groups, small groups, couples groups, and Bible studies. Now we live in a rural mountain town, attend a small community church, and lead a couples small group. So we’re firm believers in small groups.

But here are some things I’ve learned about groups:

  1. Someone can get lost in a group. They may be dealing with issues they’re not comfortable talking about in a group so their problems stay hidden; but they’ll be open and vulnerable in a one-on-one mentoring relationship.
  2. There must be a spiritually older and mature Christian in the group, preferably leading.
  3. A group consisting of everyone at the same spiritual level, especially new in their faith or less spiritually mature, may become dissuaded and confused about the truth in the Bible.
  4. If the group is spiritually older Christians, they may not challenge each other to grow in their faith. They need to take their knowledge, wisdom, and experience and join or start a group of spiritually younger believers or seekers. This is biblical and part of God’s plan for the church.

When the young pastor Titus was starting a church plant in Crete and knew he couldn’t run the church by himself, Paul gave him instructions regarding the men and women in the church . . . I like The Message translation. Notice what Paul says is the “job” of every Christian:

Your job is to speak out on the things that make for solid doctrine. Guide older men into lives of temperance, dignity, and wisdom, into healthy faith, love, and endurance. Guide older women into lives of reverence so they end up as neither gossips nor drunks, but models of goodness. By looking at them, the younger women will know how to love their husbands and children, be virtuous and pure, keep a good house, be good wives. We don’t want anyone looking down on God’s Message because of their behavior. Also, guide the young men to live disciplined lives.  

But mostly, show them all this by doing it yourself, incorruptible in your teaching, your words solid and sane. Then anyone who is dead set against us, when he finds nothing weird or misguided, might eventually come around. (Titus 2:1-8 The Message, emphasis added)

These are foundation verses for mentoring and for the first men’s and women’s ministry in the church! Every ministry should have the same mission statement and focus of spiritually older men and women teaching and training the godly life to the spiritually younger in all areas of the church. But over the years, ministry has drifted away from this focus, and sadly, the generations often segregate rather than learning from each other.

To understand the full impact of Titus 2:1-8, we need to read the issues Paul was addressing in the previous verses. It sounds a lot like our world today:

Everything is pure to those whose hearts are pure. But nothing is pure to those who are corrupt and unbelieving, because their minds and consciences are corrupted. Such people claim they know God, but they deny him by the way they live. They are detestable and disobedient, worthless for doing anything good. (Titus 1:15-16 NLT)

Titus 2:1-8 was Paul’s antidote for guiding the next generation of believers to discern between corrupt, detestable, disobedient mistruths of deceivers and the true teachings of obedient followers of Jesus Christ and His Word, the Bible.

6 Ways Mentoring Brings the Generations Together

  1. Recognize that women and men are always experiencing a new life season. How is your men’s and women’s ministry reaching each person in his or her season?

Incorporating an aspect of mentoring into all ministries allows a person who has gone through a life season to mentor those experiencing something similar. We’re always coming out of a season where we can mentor and going into a new one where we need a mentor. Mentors aren’t always chronologically older, but they’re always spiritually older. Maybe not by very much, but they should have more experience walking with the Lord than their mentee.

  1. Every ministry team should include younger and older members. In The Team That Jesus Built, I point out that a healthy, well-balanced team will have members representing:
  • A wide age range
  • All seasons of life
  • Varied personalities
  • Different spiritual gifts
  1. Also in the Team That Jesus Built, I stress the importance of every ministry and team leader mentoring an apprentice. A leader’s responsibility is to develop the next generation of leaders.
  2. Every facet of ministry should include spiritually older mentors—wherever the congregation is meeting. Be careful not to let ministries divide into “identity groups.” For example, a “moms group” should welcome all moms in all stages of motherhood—older, empty nest, stay-at-home, moms-in-waiting, working, adoptive, and grandmothers who can provide wisdom to younger moms.
  3. New believers need to know how to live the Christian life as a man or woman in all life seasons. They need a mentor.
  4. I would be remiss not to include a Mentoring Ministry. Matching a spiritually older mentor who has experienced a life season that the mentee is now experiencing is invaluable, as many of the sixty-five mentors and mentees share in my new book, Mentoring for All Seasons: Sharing Life Experiences and God’s Faithfulness.

Young people are crying out for spiritually older Christians to come alongside them, but they may not know how to ask or find one who will take the time. We must do everything possible to bring the generations together in our churches, not separate them. The older generation should know how much the younger generation needs their wisdom and experience. God wants that “One generation commends your works to another; they tell of your mighty acts” Psalm 145:4.

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Mentoring for All Seasons: Sharing Life Experiences and God’s Faithfulness is available now on Amazon, Kindle, and Signed by the Author at her website.

Author Bio

Mentoring Janet ThompsonJanet Thompson is an international speaker, freelance editor, and award-winning author of 19 books. Her latest release, Mentoring for All Seasons: Sharing Life Experiences and God’s Faithfulness, is available at all Christian bookstores, online book stores, Amazon, and signed by Janet at her website store, where you can see more of her books.

She is also the author of Forsaken God?: Remembering the Goodness of God Our Culture Has Forgotten; Team That Jesus Built; Dear God, Why Can’t I Have a Baby?; Dear God They Say It’s Cancer; Praying for Your Prodigal Daughter; and Woman to Woman Mentoring: How to Start, Grow, & Maintain a Mentoring Ministry Resources.

She is the founder of Woman to Woman Mentoring and About His Work Ministries.

Visit Janet and sign up for her Monday Morning Blog and online newsletter at womantowomanmentoring.com

You can also visit Janet at:

 

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Review: “Why Do You Believe That?”

Here’s a terrific Bible study guide for women who want to grow better at talking about their faith: Why Do You Believe That? A Faith Conversation.

Image of "Why Do You Believe That?" member book

“Why Do You Believe That? A Faith Conversation” by Mary Jo Sharp

Author Mary Jo Sharp packs six weeks of personal Bible study into 160 pages. She’s sprinkled Confidence Builders throughout that address handling tricky conversations. A helpful leader guide at the book’s back suggests discussion questions and even supplies weekly social media samples. Interspersed within the seven video lectures are eye-opening clips of Mary Jo talking to atheists and former atheists about their conversations with Christians.

When I announced I was leading a women’s apologetics Bible study using this book this summer, so many women signed up I offered two sessions. Women truly felt a need to be better able to give reasons for their faith to their friends, co-workers, and teens. By the end of the study, we felt not only better equipped to answer questions, but that we’d developed better relationship and conversation skills.

Review

Why Do You Believe That?  Study Guide

The personal study guide examines how Jesus handled faith conversations. It addresses conversation conundrums that women regularly face: “All religions teach basically the same thing”; “Religious people believe in spite of evidence”; “Why do you Christians always push your morality on others?” There’s a summary of what different religions teach about Jesus that was a unanimous favorite.

Each weekly personal study section is broken into five daily lessons that average about 35 minutes, except for week two (55) and week three (45). The homework length and topic make the study best for those with prior Bible study experience.

Daily lesson titles and key questions begin each lesson and provide good focus. The material is laid out attractively with teal and gray highlights that are easy to read. Often Mary Jo asks how you would respond to a situation before giving her suggestions. Good trick! We eagerly read on as we imagined ourselves being in that situation.

Chapters begin with a Group page listing questions from the previous week’s homework in case you prefer that over leafing through the pages; these lacked page numbers for looking up one’s responses, however.

Several chapters have sample statements to practice responding to out loud. Practicing in the group was enlightening—you could tell if you sounded sarcastic or timid, and watching someone with a particularly gentle manner gave everyone something to imitate.

In our group discussions, I encouraged the women to first share examples of when they’d actually encountered the situations we were discussing. Hearing real-life stories added lots of excitement and drove home the practicality of what we were studying.

There are a few minor issues, all easy to work around. The questions are not numbered, making it a little more difficult for people to find questions during the discussion, especially those using a digital format. The table of contents lists “Week One,” “Week Two,” etc., but doesn’t give chapter titles, making it impossible to know what the book covers from Amazon’s “Look Inside” feature (not to worry: I list the chapter titles and content at the end of this blog).

Week Two’s daily homework averaged nearly an hour per day, and if I offer the study again, I’ll cover the chapter in two weeks. This is an excellent chapter, but day three’s homework was a bit tricky. The Confidence Builder on the minimal facts defense of the resurrection (p. 39) was apparently edited down to where it doesn’t accurately represent the argument. This made it difficult for women to answer the question about it. This was easy to get around, though. I gave the group members a Minimal Facts handout that not only quoted the minimal facts, but had a hyperlink to an example of how apologist Clay Jones uses them in faith conversations: http://www.clayjones.net/2010/09/my-200-word-resurrection-witness/.

Videos

Everyone loved the seven session videos. They’re clear, well taught, and visually exciting. Rather than the typical lecture-only videos, Mary Jo’s lectures are nicely interspersed with vignettes of her talking to atheists and former atheists, and of her answering her editor’s questions. Scripture references and answers for the video guides stay on the screen long enough to write down. Graphics are top-notch. Most session videos are twenty to thirty minutes, except for the last which is nine minutes. The videos are designed to be shown at the end of a session since they introduce the following week’s homework. They’re available on DVD in the separately sold Leader Kit or by download.

Leader Guide

The leader guide at the back of member books is exceptional. It has promotion ideas; suggestions for weekly Facebook, Twitter, and email announcements; proposed discussion questions with page numbers (these differ somewhat from the discussion guides); and optional session exercises.

Conclusion

Why Do You Believe That? is an excellent Bible study for women with previous Bible study experience. I will probably offer it again, splitting Session Two into two parts and teaching on the minimal facts approach to explaining the evidence for the resurrection. In all, the lessons engendered lots of excitement because they talked about issues Christian women regularly face.

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Chapter Summaries for “Why Do You Believe That?” Member Book

Week One: Introducing Apologetics

What is apologetics, why do we need it, and how can we use it in a godly, loving manner?

Week Two: Knowing Your Beliefs

A very basic introduction to apologetic topics: Jesus is the only way; Jesus is different in different religions; Jesus’ resurrection is foundational to Christianity; Jesus uses good reasoning; Jesus’ story has been reliably transmitted.

Week Three: Listening to Others

How to develop good listening skills and an introduction to fallacies. (Click here for my Session 3 Practice Responses handout, which you are free to use and distribute.)

Week Four: Questioning Others

Asking questions as an essential communication skill (my favorite chapter!).

Week Five: Responding to Others

Tips on how to respond to errors, recognize conversation stoppers, deal with the sawed-off shotgun approach, and reply when time is short.

Week Six: Roadblocks

Dealing with our own roadblocks; others’ intellectual and emotional roadblocks; feeling inexperienced.

Week Seven:  Wrap-up & Challenge

Video guide for the last session, which is a challenge to get out and talk about faith.

Women looking for a small group Bible study should definitely consider Why Do You Believe That? It’ll build skills and confidence in having faith conversations in ways new to most women.

Sharp, Mary Jo. 2012. Why Do You Believe That? A Faith Conversation. Nashville: Lifeway. Available from LifeWay and Amazon.

Related:

Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

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Encouraging More Talk in Quiet Discussion Groups

A small group leader asks: “My discussion group is quiet, and I seem to be doing most of the talking. The group members complete a workbook at home, but they’re not sharing their answers much. Do you have any ideas about how to encourage more discussion?”

Encouraging More Talk in Discussion Groups

A reminder to ask my group to summarize a passage appears in the upper right of my workbook

This is a question I’ve spent a lot of time praying about over the years! Here are twelve tips that have helped me draw quiet people out more so that everyone feels enriched by the discussion and group members help each other grow.

Before the Group

Pray for the discussion

Before the meeting, I pray that the group members will learn from God’s word, share openly and honestly, feel safe, and help each other grow. I also pray for the Holy Spirit’s presence, wisdom, and guidance.

During the Meeting

Ask quietest people to read

I mark Scripture passages and quotations in my study guide that I want read during the meeting. I ask the quietest people to read them. Often hearing their own voice is enough to prime the pump and get the words flowing. Even if not, it helps them feel like they’re participating.

Replace summaries with leading questions

When a lesson covers a Bible passage too long to read, I don’t summarize it myself. Instead, I ask the group to summarize the passage. If no one volunteers immediately, I ask leading questions until I’ve drawn out all pertinent facts. “This lesson had us read the story of Moses sending the explorers into the Promised Land; who would like to summarize what happened? … What did Moses ask them to do? … When they returned, what did Joshua and Caleb say? … How did that differ from what the other ten spies said?”

Make silence your friend

Quiet people wait for silence before talking, so you need to provide silent pauses. I ask a question and then smile as I look around the group expectantly. I let the silence encourage talking. If I see hesitation in someone’s face, I nod encouragingly. If the silence continues, I ask, “Who has thoughts on this?”—which suggests partial answers are fine and usually draws responses.

If, however, there’s more silence, I rephrase the question, perhaps breaking it into simpler parts. The original question may have been too hard or may have been worded unclearly, so if needed, I’ll ask leading questions until the group understands the question and comes to answers that satisfy them.

Say when a discussion question has no wrong answers

Opinion and personal questions usually have no wrong answers. Saying, “There are no wrong answers on this question, so what are your thoughts?” gives people the freedom to express their opinion without fear of judgment and encourages those who hold strong opinions to keep their tone soft. This builds acceptance of differences in non-essentials,  makes the group members feel sharing is safe, and encourages more talk.

Give everyone who wants to a chance to share

On questions with multiple answers, I make sure everyone who wants to share has a chance by looking back and forth between those who haven’t answered yet and asking, “Does anyone have more to add?” Making sure everyone participates who wants to lets group members know their input is valuable and encourages more sharing.

Affirm answers

Thanking people as they share and especially affirming open, insightful answers encourages more sharing. If I hear several thoughtful answers in a row, I’ll tell the group: “You’re giving great answers! Who else has something to share?” That helps everyone feel sharing is safe.

During the meeting, when I get to a question that was hard to answer, I say something like, “I had to come back to this question and really think.” This models what I hope they will do at home and encourages group members to spend time reflecting on answers so they’ll have more to share.

I seldom correct mistakes; correct answers usually come out as the discussion continues. If someone obviously misinterprets a question, I might say, “You know, I understood the question a little differently. Did anyone interpret this question another way?” (Since that’s the same thing I say if a question has multiple interpretations, no one feels corrected.)

Ask group members to share one answer each on list questions

For questions that ask for a list of answers, I ask people to share one answer each until everyone has shared.

Don’t answer non-personal questions yourself, or answer last

On fact questions or discussion questions that aren’t personal, I try to draw out all the answers from the group. If I have anything to add, I answer last.

Answer first on personal discussion questions

For personal questions I answer first to set the example of openness and brevity. I’m honest and open about my shortcomings and struggles, and this helps others to feel safe enough to do likewise. Small group members are seldom more transparent than the group leader, so this encourages open sharing.

(If I have a talkative, transparent group, though, I’ll answer first at the beginning of the discussion to set the example of how long to talk, then I switch to answering last.)

After the Group Meeting

Affirm transparency

People often second-guess sharing intimately and worry that their openness will lead to others thinking poorly of them. I call or email those who show vulnerability, expressing thanks for their transparency and assuring them that their openness will help the other group members grow and feel safe enough to share openly too.

Ask the reason for quietness during discussion

If someone talked little, I’ll privately ask, “I noticed you didn’t share much. Was there something going on?” Here are common replies and how I usually respond:

“I had a fight with my husband and was in a funk.”

People distracted by worry are always grateful for a listening ear and heartfelt prayer. And they’re so glad you asked what was happening. They’ll feel loved and accepted, essential to open sharing.

“I didn’t get my homework done.”

I assure people who didn’t finish their lessons that I’m glad they came anyway, and to always feel free on the personal questions to listen to the other answers to get their gist and then jump in with their thoughts.

“I’m new to the Bible and don’t want to look stupid.”

I tell them I’m glad they’re there and assure them everyone has felt that way at some point and can relate. In future meetings, I include some simple fact questions and look to them to answer first (without being obvious) so their confidence builds. I call a couple days before future meetings and ask if they have any questions about the homework.

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If you’re a small group leader, what are  ways you’ve successfully encouraged more talk in quiet groups?

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How to Choose Discussion Questions

Choose discussion questions for small groups

A small group in the midst of discussion

Last week a small group Bible study leader asked me how I choose discussion questions from workbooks. These workbooks typically have chapters with five or six daily lessons that group members complete at home and plan to discuss when they meet.

You can’t ask all the questions: there isn’t time. But it’s essential to get through all the daily lessons, or those who finished their lessons will be frustrated they didn’t get to share all they learned. Additionally, people will start completing only the number of lessons they know you’ll cover and will thus miss out on important material.

So here I’ll share the steps I take to choose discussion questions that help me cover the most important questions in the allotted time.

Choose discussion questions and highlight them

I highlight only the portion of the question I’ll read aloud. Notice the faint “10” to the left of the question.

I finish the entire chapter early in the week. The day before the meeting, I grab my workbook, pencil, pen, and pink and green fluorescent highlighters. I might use blue instead of green, but never yellow (too pale to see) or purple (hard to read through). I use pink to highlight questions I want to be sure to cover, and green for optional questions I’ll ask only if there’s time.

I read through the material again carefully, doing the following as I go:

  1. Decide each question’s potential for discussing:
    • Essential: Practical application questions; questions whose answer explains the main point
    • Helpful: Questions that support the main lesson, but aren’t essential to understanding it; redundant questions
    • Unnecessary for discussion: Questions that provide background so you can answer essential questions; review questions (“What did we learn yesterday about this?”); deeply private reflection questions; most questions whose answer is a prayer
  2. Pencil in estimated minutes to discuss. I write a rough estimate of the time the question will take to discuss to the left of the question number. I ignore unnecessary questions and I put parentheses around the times of the least important helpful questions. Here are the estimates I use:
    • ½: Fact questions that can be answered by one person (“What does Titus 3:2 say?”)
    • 2: Fact questions that ask for lists (“What are the promises in this passage?”)
    • 5: Non-personal discussion questions (“Why do people find this hard to do?”)
    • 10: Personal discussion questions (“Do you find this hard to do? Why or why not?”)
    • 5: Private discussion questions that not everyone will want to answer (“With what idol do you struggle most?”)
  3. Highlight essential questions. I highlight in pink a couple discussion questions and any number of essential fact questions per daily lesson. I highlight only the portion of the question I want to read aloud, not parenthetical explanations. If the question needs a segue, I write it in pen and highlight that too. If a daily lesson is short on essential discussion questions, I might promote one or two helpful questions to essential status.
  4. Tally the minutes needed per daily lesson. I jot down the total minutes needed to cover the essential questions highlighted in each daily lesson.
  5. Tally the chapter minutes and adjust. I add the daily lesson minutes needed together and subtract the total from the time allotted for discussion. If it’s very short, I highlight another question or two in pink till I’m within ten or fifteen minutes. Then I spread the remaining difference among the daily lesson minutes. For instance, if my daily lesson estimates are 18+6+11+17+13=65 and I have 75 minutes for discussion, the difference of ten minutes I’d spread like this: 20+7+13+20+15=75.
  6. Write beginning and ending times on first page of daily lessons. At the top of the first page for the first daily lesson, I write the time period I want to spend on that lesson. For instance, if the discussion starts at 9:30 and I’ve allotted 20 minutes for the first lesson, I write “9:30-9:50.” I repeat for all the daily lessons.
  7. Highlight optional questions. I scan the un-highlighted questions with times next to them and choose the most helpful. I highlight them with the green highlighter; these will be optional questions I’ll ask only if there’s time. I choose at least two per daily lesson.

When you choose discussion questions, add segues

A segue from the previous paragraph is added to the discussion question

Now when I get to the meeting, I ask or skip optional questions so I finish each daily lesson close to the ending time I wrote down for it. The group members are satisfied they got to share what they learned, everyone is blessed by each other’s answers, and those who might not have finished their lessons see the benefits of doing so and are encouraged to do more the following week.

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“Seek” Book Recommendation

‘Seek’ ~ A new book by Donna Jones

I’ve started many seeker and new believer Bible studies over the years, and this is the book I wish I’d had: Seek: A woman’s guide to meeting God. Too often I’ve used books that lost women in the first two weeks as theological terms bounced about causing more confusion than clarity.

That isn’t the case with Seek: A Woman’s Guide to Meeting God (affiliate link).
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I had the privilege of reading a few chapters before publication, and I felt immediately as if I were sitting down with a hot mug of Earl Grey talking to a dear friend. Okay, the author, Donna Jones, is such a friend. But it was the warm, endearing tone that pulled me in. The book is filled with delightful stories that illustrate spiritual concepts in ways that just make sense—that make you go “Aha!” And each chapter ends with questions ideal for discussion groups.

Look at the way she begins explaining trusting in false beliefs:

In second grade I read a book that, quite frankly, no child with my personality traits should have been allowed to read. Though I can’t recall the title, the book was filled with sure-fire ways to win party games, including one game my friends inevitably played at birthday parties—Pin the Tail on the Donkey. While this handy manual conceded no fool proof way to win Pin the Tail on the Donkey existed apart from cheating, it did, however, outline a little known rule: A secondary prize should always be given to the child whose tail is furthest away from the donkey, in addition to the first place prize awarded to the child whose tail is closest. My eyes widened and my heart beat wildly as my seven-year-old mind unraveled the implications of discovering this life-altering revelation. I would never go home empty handed from a party again!

Donna is a long-time Bible teacher who knows what questions women have and is skilled in answering them. I’ve listened to Donna teach for the past five years and love her humor and down-to-earth explanations that engage seekers, new believers, and long-time Christians alike.

So if you

  • want a book for a neighborhood Bible study
  • need materials for teaching Bible essentials to your church’s women
  • have a seeker friend who might read a warm, inviting, non-intimidating book
  • have always wanted a clear explanation of Christian essentials

…then check out Seek: A Woman’s Guide to Meeting God (affiliate link).for details.

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Jesus & the Timid Woman

What can we learn from Jesus about making people feel valued, especially in small groups? Plenty—especially from the way he treated a woman too shy to speak to him.

She wasn’t ready to open up

Jesus was on his way to heal the daughter of an important man, Jairus. Jairus was a synagogue ruler, while this woman hiding in the crowd hadn’t been to synagogue in twelve years. She couldn’t—not with this bleeding problem that made her “unclean.” Any place she sat became unclean too, so she didn’t get out much.

She couldn’t get up the nerve to talk to Jesus. After all, who would be interested in a penniless woman who wasn’t the daughter of anyone special?

The crowd pressed all around him. She really shouldn’t have been there in her state, but she longed for healing. She’d been ostracized for so long. She needn’t bother him, after all: she’d just slip in from behind, touch his cloak—that’s all it would take, she was sure—and then disappear among the multitude. No one would notice.

But someone did.

Jesus felt power going out of him and knew someone had touched him and been healed, someone who wouldn’t venture to ask for healing. But healing her physically wasn’t enough. He turned and called out, “Who touched my clothes?”

She didn’t answer. Perhaps she froze in confusion, thoughts racing through her mind. Will he be angry I touched him when I’m unclean? Jairus and all the important people must be furious at this delay! What will everyone think if I speak up?

Talkative people exuberantly move from one subject to another

Not hearing an immediate answer, Jesus’ disciples wanted to move on. But Jesus didn’t. He kept looking around.

She finally spoke up, shaking with fear. She may have stumbled over her words, felt the warmth of a blush on her face, winced as it turned to red-hot burning.

Jesus listened to the whole story: she had bled for twelve long years and spent all her money on doctors, but only gotten worse. When she heard Jesus was near, she thought if she could just touch his clothes, she could be free without bothering him. She had touched his cloak and felt healed immediately.

Jesus gave her his full attention, as if he thought her words important. This made the crowds acknowledge her and give her their full attention too. Everyone is looking at me! She glanced up and saw gentle eyes, eyes that bade her talk. And a kind smile that told her all was well. She locked her eyes on his.

People blossom when they feel valued & accepted

After Jesus listened, he called her “daughter”! Yes, “daughter.” She who hadn’t been the daughter of someone important like a synagogue ruler, was now being called daughter by this great man. What did it mean?

He said her faith had healed her and to go in peace. So he wasn’t mad. No, he was pleased she had approached him. She, a woman of no consequence who dared but touch his garment unnoticed, had been noticed, healed, and freed.

She smiled shyly and looked around. She saw compassion in the faces of tenderhearted people. She hadn’t expected this.

“Be freed from your suffering,” he said. Yes, she was free. She knew it!  Free not just from sickness, but from feeling alone, forgotten, and inconsequential.

***

If you’re not shy:

  • You can look around—like Jesus did—to find that man standing alone at church and the woman sitting quietly at a gathering.
  • Draw others out and listen to their stories.
  • Let others know they’re family and they’re valued.

If you’re shy:

  • Take heart from Jesus’ tenderness towards the timid woman.
  • The thoughtful statements of the more quiet are often insightful, so go ahead, take courage, and speak.
  • Know that shyness makes you no less valuable: a family needs members with all kinds of gifts, including the quiet gifts.
  • Go in peace, for you matter greatly to Jesus.

If you’re a small group leader:

  • You can imitate Jesus by looking around for the quiet people who take a little longer to speak up and encouraging them with a smile.
  • Help the talkative people not rush ahead when there’s a pause; show you’re not afraid of silence so they won’t be either.
  • Give those sharing your full attention—that shows you value both them and what they have to say; it also encourages others to do the same.
  • Treat all like family—after all, that’s what they are.
  • When people share something self-disclosing, let them know later privately how appreciative you are and how their courage will help others—it will give them peace and free them from the second guessing that all but the most self-assured feel.

At once Jesus realized that power had gone out from him. He turned around in the crowd and asked, “Who touched my clothes?” “You see the people crowding against you,” his disciples answered, “and yet you can ask, ‘Who touched me?’“ But Jesus kept looking around to see who had done it. Then the woman, knowing what had happened to her, came and fell at his feet and, trembling with fear, told him the whole truth. He said to her, “Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering.” ~Mark 5:30-34 

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